THE DAMNED DON'T CRY
by deetatarant
Summary: Pre-season one - onwards ....final chapter
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Sorry but the other stories are on hold until I can get back into them since COE my brain has fudged so I decided to start on something completely fresh to remind myself why I really detest the BBC right now.**

**This starts pre season one as in my universe season three simply doesn't exist... it's the only way really.**

**Comments would be welcomed, thank you.**

**THE DAMNED DON'T CRY**

6am was never a good time for Owen Harper. 6am should be one of those times of the day that simply didn't exist as far as he was concerned. 6am was absolutely not the time to be standing about in the freezing pre-dawn winter rain waiting for a bloody Tea Boy to come out of the warehouse. Owen stomped his feet on the concrete and blew into cupped hands, Christ he was cold and where the hell were Suzie and Ianto? The sound of footsteps caused him to jump, much to obvious amusement when she shot him a disparaging look.

"We're done here Owen, may as well head back."

Ianto, silent as ever was standing in her shadow trying not to be seen. Typical. Owen snorted.

"Waste of time then?"

Suzie nodded.

"Bollocks. I could have stayed in bed!"

Suzie strode past him heading in the direction of the SUV and Ianto followed in her wake, keeping his comments steadfastly to himself, he was grateful for the disappointing outcome. His first mission out in the field with Torchwood three was a success; he was still alive and unscathed. His hands were sunk deep into the pockets of his tailored woollen over coat and he hunched himself into warm fabric and hurried along to keep up with Suzie's fast pace. Owen fell in step beside him, his head down against the wet and the wind.

"Fucking hate Wales." Was muttered just loud enough for Ianto to hear the provocation.

"Me too." He responded refusing to rise to the bait.

The drive back to the Hub was taken in sulky silence. Owen rode shot gun with Suzie driving at a gentle speed through the increasing traffic.

"We really need to refine the sensors, this is the sixth time this month we've been out here wasting our time." Owen snapped.

"Tosh is working on it, it's a lot better than it was so stop bloody complaining." Suzie replied waspishly. Ianto sat staring out of his window, watching Cardiff slide by with the onset of a new November day. He just wanted to get back to the Hub, check Lisa and disappear into the tourist office to catch up on the paperwork. Owen and Suzie continued in their debate, throwing flirtatious barbs between them by the time they had arrived back at the garage. They disgorged themselves from the SUV and Ianto went straight through the Hub to make coffee before Owen could start demanding it.

Jack watched from his office as he three colleagues returned. Ianto quietly sloped by in the direction of the coffee maker and Owen and Suzie blustered in behind him clearly enjoying their argument. Jack smiled to himself and shaking his head he went back to his desk and the rather daunting pile of forms he had to sign off. He was interrupted a few minutes later by a tentative tap on the door and then it opened and in walked coffee heaven, well Ianto Jones with a mug of his divine elixir. As was usual, Ianto hesitated in the doorway before quietly gliding in and placing the mug down on a coaster on Jack's desk. Jack looked into Ianto's unreadable blank mask and smiled.

"Thank you Ianto. How did it go out there today?"

Ianto dithered as if gathering up a suitable reply. "It was fine, sir. We didn't find anything other than weak residual readings. Owen complained, we all got wet and cold and then we came back." Ianto took a pace back and unconsciously smoothed down the front of his pin stripped jacket.

Jack nodded. "Good. I want you out on a couple of retrievals each week, build up your confidence out there. We'll carry on in the firing range as well."

Ianto sighed inwardly, field ops was the last thing he wanted. "Of course, sir. Was there anything else?"

Jack could think of a lot of things and he smiled up at the young man standing before him. "No, that will be all."

Ianto offered up a stiff, curt nod and turned and left. Jack watched his departing arse closely before turning his attention to the mug of coffee.

Ianto closed the door behind him and headed to Toshiko's desk and the pile of files there. She looked up from her monitors and smiled that sweet shy smile that Ianto had to privately admit he found calming. He gestured at the paperwork.

"May I take these?"

Tosh nodded and pulled off her glasses, taking up her mug of green tea that he had brought her before going to Jack's office.

"Yes, they're all finalised." She replied before having a sip of her tea.

Ianto nodded. "I bet Owen's aren't."

Tosh couldn't help but wince. "No, I'm sure." She felt sorry for the younger man and Ianto could tell it in her tone. He tried not to look frustrated.

"Never mind. I'll see to these and anyway I still have plenty to get on with. I'll be in the archive if you need anything." He cradled the folders against his chest and walked away.

Tosh watched him and sighed, but once she had finished her tea she was soon immersed once again in her computations.

Ianto worked ceaselessly filing the paperwork in the first instance and then after checking Lisa, going back to lower levels to continue sorting through the artefacts rescued from the wreckage of Canary Wharf. There were hundreds of items all just dumped in their boxes and crates and left. What the hell had Jack been thinking? There were also thousands of files, still in their box folders awaiting to be added into the collection housed at Torchwood 3. Ianto didn't mind, he was grateful for the task that kept him out of everyone's way and close by to where Lisa was securely stowed away. He felt safe down here amongst all these inanimate objects and enjoyed the prospect of learning all he could from them. Knowledge was power after all and maybe, just maybe, there was something in all this that could help Lisa. Ianto completely buried himself in his tasks totally unaware of the passage of time, trying to quell his constant fear of discovery and regret at the lies he was forced to tell. If it made Lisa better then every spoken false word would be worth it. He knew he had to be careful though, Suzie was constantly vigilant, though thankfully she almost never came here to the very bowels of the Hub. Owen, thankfully just dismissed him and Tosh didn't seem to notice him either. Jack was always watching, but it was nothing more than self interest and underlying lust that had more than once threatened to break the surface of Ianto's manikin exterior. Ianto sighed wondering how long it would be before the verbal flirting would move on to something more intimate. He would do whatever it took.....

Damned.... He knew he was and always would be, but he had no room for tears if Lisa was to survive or if he was to survive for that matter. Ianto chewed at his lip as he worked. The blue tooth in his ear suddenly beeped for attention and Ianto pressed it.

"Yes, sir?"

Jack's cheerful accented tones filtered through. "Ianto, go to the morgue and bring a trolley to the parking bay, we have a very heavy body to shift."

"Of course sir."

Ianto abandoned his task and did as he was told.

The wheels on the trolley refused to play ball and it took great effort to negotiate it through the swing doors that led to the SUV's parking bay. No one appeared to notice his efforts and he realised he was walking in on a very heated argument between Jack and Suzie. Owen was nowhere to be seen and Tosh was just opening up the back of the SUV as Ianto pulled up the trolley beside it. He turned to get a look at the contents of the back of the vehicle and suddenly screamed, drawing his gun from the shoulder holster under his jacket and firing haphazardly into the trunk. Tosh ducked out of the way and cowered to avoid the bouncing bullets and the next thing Ianto knew he was face down on the concrete underneath Jack who had expertly disarmed him. It took Ianto a moment to register the fact that he was still screaming. He wrestled somewhat futilly against Jack but almost threw him off in his panic.

"Ianto! Ianto stop, it's ok. It's dead. STOP!" Jack was bellowing in his ear. "It's dead!"

Ianto stilled and hauled in a shuddering breath and finally he went limp under Jack's weight, closing his eyes.

"Shit. I'm sorry I didn't think. I'm sorry. GET THAT THING INTO THE INCINERATOR!"

Ianto didn't see Tosh and Suzie haul the deactivated Cyberman onto the trolley and wheel it away.

Ianto felt faint and nauseas as Jack finally lifted himself up and then gently manhandled him to his feet. He felt himself sway and bright specks danced in his vision.

"Oh God, sorry, sorry sir." It poured out and then he lurched and vomited all over the concrete at their feet before passing out.

Jack only just caught him in time, rather taken aback by just how light Ianto was. He lifted him easily and Ianto's head lolled against his shoulder as he was carried through the Hub to the autopsy bay.

Owen was already there and was more than a little put out when Jack planted the unconscious Tea Boy on his metal exam table.

"He does need to be dead BEFORE the PM Jack." Owen quipped with a snide smile. He snapped on some gloves and Jack stood back as the medic got to work.

"What happened?"

"He saw the Cyberman, went for his gun. I tackled him to the floor. I think he may have hit his head. When I got him back on his feet he threw up and then passed out."

Owen sighed. "Help me undress him, may as well check him over properly then."

They set to work removing Ianto's jacket and tie and loosening his belt. Owen taped a sensor to his temple and Jack undid the buttons of the immaculate white shirt. He sucked in a sharp breath.

Owen looked at pale skin and prominent ribs, but there was an angry, partially healed mess of scar tissue below the left collar bone. It looked worryingly similar to hand print. Owen nodded he had known it was there.

"Canary Wharf."

Jack nodded. "I didn't realise he was hurt."

"A Cyberman got him, quite frankly he was bloody lucky. I can't believe you didn't think Jack." Owen berated and then sighed. "Poor fucker. His vitals are fine Jack, it was just a faint, probably shock at seeing that thing in the trunk. He needs some rest and a decent meal."

Jack couldn't argue with the assessment. He stepped back and left Owen to get on with his job.

"Just get him comfortable and leave him to sleep."

Owen nodded, knowing full well that that wasn't nearly enough to cater for the boy's needs. Still, not his problem.

Jack wandered back through the Hub to make sure that Suzie HAD put the Cyberman into the incinerator as instructed. He was pleased to find that she and Tosh were doing just that when he got there. Suzie was furious and once the furnace was closed up she turned to her boss, hands on hips and by God if that didn't look damned hot.

"You're a fool Jack. We could have learnt a great deal from that thing, what is it with you and destroying anything interesting we might find?"

Tosh took a step away from her colleague, not wanting to get involved in the argument again.

"There's nothing interesting about those things and we are not Torchwood London. If it's a threat it gets put down and destroyed, no arguments!"

Suzie shook her head. "Not even to learn how to defend ourselves against it?"

"There is no defending against those things, you just run, trust me and if you don't believe me talk to Ianto." He swung round and walked away.

Ianto woke up screaming. It frightened the life out of Owen who had come running from the boardroom with Jack close on his heels. It took them both to hold him down and some twenty minutes for him to calm. His face was grey and sheened with perspiration as he gasped at the air like a drowning man.

"Ssshhh, it's ok. Ianto it's ok." Jack gripped his arm with his left hand and rubbed soothing circles over the young man's back with the right. Ianto lurched forwards shuddering his head colliding with Jack's chest.

"Gonna be sick."

Jack grabbed the proffered bowl from Owen and Ianto puked into it; not that much came up, just bile and water. Ianto heaved for some time and Jack continued to caress his back.

"It's alright Ianto."

Owen discretely took the man's vitals again and nodded at Jack.

"He's fine, though I'd suggest sending him home to rest."

Ianto lunged upright almost head butting Jack. "NO!"

Owen met his panicked look.

"Tea Boy that's doctor's orders, you look like shit!"

Ianto swung his head round to face Jack. "I'm fine sir, really."

Jack took a pace back assessing him. "Owen's right. You look shattered. Take a couple of days."

The younger man sagged. "Where is it?"

Owen and Jack exchanged frowns of frustration. "Melting in the incinerator. It's gone Ianto." Jack replied. "Now lets get you dressed and I'll drive you home."

Ianto reluctantly complied. He'd sneak back in later to check on Lisa, when the other's had gone home.

Owen plonked himself down in the chair facing Jack's desk and took the glass of brandy that was passed to him. He twirled the golden liquid around the crystal while Jack sat down and took a sizable draught from his own glass.

"We need to discuss Ianto." Owen said placing the untouched alcohol on Jack's desk.

"How is he?"

Owen shrugged. "Physically?"

Jack nodded. "Start with that first."

Owen looked at his boss. "He's suffering from PTSD, that much would be obvious to a blind man. The blood test I took indicates he isn't taking the medication I prescribed, so I imagine he's had very little sleep and by the looks of him not much to eat either. He's quiet and he's jumpy and.... well, lets be honest he could be a hell of a lot worse than he actually is. I'm amazed he's able to function given the state of the rest of the survivors. Mentally, I think he's at the end of his tether, but I also think he will recover. Ianto is strong, he just needs a little time, he'll be fine."

Jack arched his eyebrows. "Is he fit for duty?"

Owen nodded. "Just no field ops. I think for the time being he needs order and routine, the filing and archives are ideal for that, anyway he's crap out there, too skittish."

"Right and what's makes you the judge of that?"

Owen shook his head. "Medical degree Jack. Just give him time to settle and heal in a secure environment, trust me it will help him. Anyway he's not ops trained, he's an office monkey Jack and I thought that's why you hired him."

Jack nodded, recalling the night he and Ianto had captured the pteranodon, there had been no indication of weakness then. He realised Owen was talking again.

"It was just seeing that Cyberman Jack. I don't think he's about to go buggo on us, but I can fully understand why he freaked out, have you seen the footage from Canary Wharf?"

Jack had.

"Ok, thank you Owen."

The medic took that as a dismissal and rose to his feet.

"Boss?"

"Yes?"

"Suzie's right you know, about studying them, we could really use the intel in case they come back again and that Doctor isn't around to save our sorry arses."

Jack met his look with a stony one of his own that made Owen back off a pace.

"No, any and all Cyber technology is to be destroyed. I know some is still turning up now and then, but it is too dangerous. I've seen the devastation that those things leave in their wake, believe me it makes Canary Wharf look like a summer picnic. Suzie is way too fond of messing with things that she shouldn't, I will not tolerate this planet being put at risk under any circumstances."

Owen got the message.

"Right boss. Well then I'm off, I'll drop by Ianto's flat on the way and check he is ok."

"No, it's fine I'll check in on him. I need to talk to him anyway."

Ianto was more than a little stunned to find Jack Harkness on his doorstep. He stepped aside to let him into his little flat and sighed as he closed the front door. Jack wandered into the overly neat and somewhat sterile lounge and sank down onto the couch, which was surprisingly comfortable. Ianto ever the polite host went straight to the kitchen and came back a few moments later with mugs of coffee. He handed one to Jack and sat himself in the armchair. Jack meanwhile had gazed about the impersonal room waiting for Ianto to sit down.

"How are you feeling now?"

Ianto sipped at his cup of coffee and had to hold back a wince as his stomach protested with a cramp.

"I'm fine sir, really. It was just seeing that.... that thing. I'm sorry."

"I didn't come here looking for an apology."

Ianto's gaze dropped to the carpet.

"Ianto?" Jack leant forward trying to decrease the distance between them without being threatening. "Ianto, talk to me?"

Eventually the young man looked up, his face schooled into a bland expression.

"About what, sir?"

Jack sighed. "I don't know, anything and please, you're off duty and my name is Jack."

"But you are still my boss, sir.... Jack. I've almost finished going through the Aa to Be crates from London, Tosh should have all the relevant data on the electronic database by the end of the week."

Jack hitched an annoyed breath. "Right, yeah.... that's good she'll be pleased. But that's work Ianto."

The young man feeling vaguely uncomfortable in his own home tucked his legs into his chair and gripped his knees, he just wanted Jack to go.

"I named the dinosaur Myfanwy."

It was so random that Jack actually smiled. "Myfanwy? Isn't that a girl's name?"

Ianto nodded. "She likes chocolate, therefore she's a girl."

"I like chocolate. Does that make me a girl too?" Jack's smile widened and there was a definite sparkle in his oceanic eyes that Ianto couldn't help but notice the playfulness there. He got up and padded off, returning with a bar of dark chocolate and passing it to Jack.

"70 percent cocoa, it's made from African cocoa, has a slightly bitter tang to it, but it's fabulous melted into Arabica coffee." Ianto resumed his seat and watched as Jack lazily unwrapped expensive foil from the small bar. He snapped off a chunk and passed the rest to Ianto. The chunk was dropped into his mug of black coffee.

"How do you know this?"

Ianto watched as he gently swirled the liquid watching the thick chocolate mix with the coffee and Jack inhaling the enticing scent.

"I know everything... about coffee and chocolate, at least."

"You do?" Jack's tone had adopted a somewhat seductive edge.

Ianto nodded, trying to ignore it, trying to ignore his need to be held and comforted and to be told that everything wasn't falling apart around him and he just wished that Jack bloody Harkness would go. He pushed down something far more primal at the same time.

"I learnt that coffee and chocolate are two sure ways to get what you want out of some one, but it has to be good coffee and chocolate, no cheap shit from the supermarket."

Their eyes met just as Jack put the mug to his lips and took a sip. The expression on his face was bordering on orgasmic as the flavours danced over his tongue before he slowly swallowed.

"Wow, but I bet you taste better."

Ianto's eyes widened just a fraction. "Careful sir, that's harassment." It slid from his mouth before he could stop it.

Jack burst out laughing missing the huge sigh of relief from Ianto. However he was yawning straight after and Jack didn't miss that. He drank the coffee watching Ianto with an appreciative eye before finally setting the empty mug down on the coffee table. He stood up straightening out his coat which he hadn't taken off when he arrived.

"I'll leave you to get some rest as per Owen's orders." He really didn't want to, he could happily sit and watch the intruiging Welshman all night, amongst other things.

Ianto got up and showed him to the front door a strange mixture of relief and disappointment flooding over him as he opened the double glazed door. Jack stepped past him and paused on the threshold looking out into the night.

"It's not all bad out there, you know." He said returning his gaze to Ianto, there was less then twelve inches between them and Jack wanted to close the gap to nothing, but he quelled the lust offering up a friendly smile. Ianto nodded.

"Thank you for coming by, sir."

Jack frowned.

"Sorry Jack."

"Better. Good night."

"Good night."

Jack turned away and strode down the path into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**PART TWO**

Freezing rain slanted down on them from an iron clad sky. The small boat bobbed on the choppy, muddy waves and Owen leaned his head over the side and threw up his breakfast. He was miserable and very cross. He hated boats almost as much as he hated being out of his bed before 10am and he clutched at his gut moaning at anyone who'd listen. He was only there in case anything went wrong.... well if the sea sickness didn't kill him first. Embarrassingly they were less than a mile out and still in Cardiff Bay itself, just past the bows of the last row of moored yaughts. He gripped the rail and caught Suzie's look of abject happiness at his suffering. Jack was at the stern leaning over the side, allowing a slick rope to glide through gloved hands as he scanned the churning water. Ianto was ... well Owen imagined he must have hit the bottom by now. The Tea Boy being the only experienced diver among them. Tosh was in the shelter of the main cabin working at her laptop and monitoring Ianto's vitals.

Something had come through the Rift early that morning and ended up in the Bay. Jack had said he wanted the Tea Boy out in the field. Owen was eternally grateful that he had no idea about diving, as it was Jack was suited up in the gear in case Ianto needed to be rescued. The medic half wondered if Ianto could actually see anything in the swirling, murky depths, he'd been down there for some time and it wasn't lost on Owen just how dangerous this retrieval actually was. The boat continued to pitch and roll at an alarming rate.... well by Owen's standards anyway as he tried to maintain his grip and tried not to think of how much the horizon kept moving. Suzie's laughter was carried on the whipping wind, she was enjoying herself immensely, much to Owen's annoyance.

Owen threw her a glare and turned his attention back to Jack who appeared to be leaning further over the side, the man's yelling was lost in the wind and suddenly he was hauling Ianto over the side on to the narrow deck. Two containment cases followed. Ianto righted himself and yanked off the goggles and breathing apparatus. He got to his feet and headed straight for the warmth of the cabin. Jack began clearing up the gear as he yelled at Suzie to take them home.

Ianto sat on a stool and pulled off the wetsuit, shivering with cold as the boat lurched off. He gratefully accepted the warm towels that Toshiko passed him and hurriedly dried himself before getting into his thermals, jeans and hoodie. A few moments later and he was pulling out a flask of pre made coffee .

It was almost mid day when they got back to the Hub. Jack and Suzie carried the two rather heavy cases into the boardroom and Ianto headed straight for the locker rooms to get a hot shower and change into a suit. He took the opportunity to nip down to Lisa before rejoining the team in the conference room with a tray of coffees in his hands. So long as he gave them coffee he remained unnoticed. After handing out the drinks he turned to leave.....

"Ianto, hold up, take a seat." Jack instructed.

Ianto hesitated at the door and turned to face the team. Owen and Suzie were both gaping at Jack. Toshiko was smiling at him and Jack was positively leering. Rather uncertain of himself Ianto took the vacant chair which happened to be nearest to the exit.

"Yes,sir."

The items he had retrieved from the bottom of Cardiff bay were laid out on the table before them. Ianto stared at them, avoiding Jack's gaze.

Still somewhat clagged up with silt there was a metal glove, what looked like an odd shaped knife and a dull pitted metal ball. Ianto vaguely wondered how cleaning them up would make them look so much nicer.

"So people, what have we got?"

Ianto looked up somewhat blankly. He had no idea and was relieved to hear Tosh speak up right away.

"The meson radiation is coming off the ball. It's just dense metal, a few hundred years old, there's nothing else to it not even sure what it is really."

"A canon ball?" Ianto suggested, such things were often found in and around the coasts of Britain. All eyes were upon him and Ianto averted his gaze to the table top and blushed.

Tosh was nodding enthusiastically. "He's probably right, though why it's giving off such high level readings is beyond me."

Ianto could still feel the other's eyes upon him and he tried not to stick a finger in his mouth and chew on a nail.

"The glove and knife have no readings whatsoever. We'll need to do a metallurgical analysis, but the glove is obviously designed for a human hand." Tosh finished.

"Any thoughts on that?"

Suzie was leaning over the edge of the table to get a better look, unwilling to touch the items without protective gear on.

"They appear to be relatively undamaged under all that muck, maybe they were stolen from a museum collection or something."

Owen had lost interest. "So give 'em to Cardiff university, we're not archaeologists."

Jack was watching Ianto again. "Ianto, what do you think? You're the archivist have you come across anything like these before?"

Ianto looked up at Jack. "They look 12th century to me, though in remarkably good order, the knife isn't right though, at least it doesn't look European. I can have a look through the electronic database, but Owen's probably right."

Owen let out a smug snort. "Thank you Tea Boy!"

Ianto winced. "Ianto." He responded calmly. "My name is Ianto."

Owen ignored him and got to his feet. "So if we're done here. I have an autopsy to get back to."

Jack nodded. "Fine, you do that. Tosh, Suzie you may as well get on with studying these. Ianto see if you can find anything relevant that may help them, but first I'd like to see you in my office."

The team disbanded, Tosh leaving to go to her computers and Jack and Suzie close at her tail already in heated debate about something or another. Ianto sat there for a moment looking at the items before him. The glove sat there, still dripping sludge from the bay, sludge that pooled on the table. He eyed it with suspicion and shuddered not liking how it made him feel. He shoved back in his chair and got to his feet in a hurry to get away.

He reluctantly made his way up to Jack's office and was motioned in before he had time to knock on the door. He entered and hovered by the door.

"You wanted to see me?"

Jack gestured to a chair and perched himself on the edge of his desk. Ianto sat down realising he was entirely conscious of how close Jack was, he could feel his heat and smell the unique, slightly spicy sweetness of his boss' pheromones. Ianto vaguely recalled something Jack had boasted... what was it now? Yes, 51st century pheromones, that was it. Ianto felt his own temperature rise and he shifted awkwardly in the seat. If Jack were aware of his discomfiture, he didn't comment on it.

"I've a job for you."

"Sir?"

Ianto looked up into his handsome face, yes it was handsome and Ianto had never noticed that before in a man. Damn! Those oceanic eyes just drew one in.

"I'd like you to keep track of things for me on Ebay and any other trading type website. Tosh usually handles it, but as you know she's busy and can't give it the time it needs. You're the natural choice to take over as you've already been helping her. It's your project from now on."

Ianto nodded trying to decide whether or not this was some kind of punishment for something he wasn't aware of.

"Of course, sir."

Jack appeared to be expecting more from him as he folded his bronzed arms across his chest. Ianto found himself wondering what brand of tanning lotion Jack used.

"Ok, good. Right then......"

Ianto got to his feet. "I'll see if I can find that information for Suzie."

Jack nodded, smiling. "Good plan and Ianto....."

"Yes, sir?"

"Liking the suit, the darker colour is definitely better."

Ianto dipped his chin and blushed. "May I remind you about harassment in the workplace, sir?"

Jack's grin just got wider. "Perhaps you could demonstrate, so I know what I shouldn't be doing." He leaned closer having stood up himself, it was weird Jack hadn't realised before now that Ianto was almost his height. He reached out with both hands and made a show of straightening Ianto's already perfectly positioned silk tie. "Wouldn't want there to be any misunderstandings now."

Ianto met his gaze, blue against blue, his features schooled into an unreadable mask.

"Of course not....... sir." It slid like silk off his tongue and Jack swallowed at the sound of the exaggerated Welsh accent. He dropped his hands.

"We'll continue this later."

Ianto inclined his head knowing exactly what that would entail.

Suzie was clearly fascinated by the glove, as time wore away she became increasingly absorbed in her studies of it. Ianto had found nothing in the database that was useful, or so he said and Suzie was inclined not to believe him. Ianto was too neat to be trustworthy. Not that she cared particularly, the young man was easy on the eye and made fantastic coffee, he also was a useful a distraction. Captain Harkness had made it his personal mission to get the boy into his bunk. Suzie buried herself in her new toy, seeing it as a key to solve her problems and exorcise her inner demons, she did her best to avoid going out in the field leaving most of the 'grunt' work to the Captain and his minions, she wanted nothing but the glove and the energy that coursed through her every time she put it on even though she was no closer to figuring out what it did.

Ianto had found the relevant files and having read their contents he buried them deep in the archive and discreetly deleted the electronic copies. No one was any the wiser. He kept his distance from the glove and Suzie, but said nothing. He was afraid of her, but he also recognized the value of having her so completely absorbed in her work that absolutely nothing else mattered. He was pulled into a sense of urgency as he watched Lisa slip further away from him, her lucid moments were fewer and further between and sometimes her words were wholly un-Lisa like. His nerves were frayed, he couldn't sleep, struggled to eat and became paranoid about leaving the Hub which was when he finally gave into Jack's flirting and gave back something more. After that he added shame to his already long list of.... well whatever it was he was becoming nowadays.

Ianto carefully buttoned his shirt, trying hard not have his hands tremble at the action. It was 3 am and he had waited once again for the Captain to fall asleep before getting up from the sorry excuse for a bed that they shared. He picked up his shoes and padded quietly to the little bathroom. Jack sat up blinking in the dim light dismayed to discover that Ianto was up and probably dressed.

"Hey Ianto!"

Ianto poked his head out of the bathroom door.

"In here, sir."

Why did he insist on that formality, even now? Though with the Welsh accent, it was damned sexy. Ianto was proving to be a rare find, meek and subservient in his work, challenging and playful in bed. Jack could live with that.

"Why are you up? Owen told you to rest."

Ianto reappeared fully dressed.

"Perhaps I should go home before stopping off here first then. I need a change of clothes, sir and have to do a Hub shop before I come back in because we've run out of milk and coffee. That's enough to start industrial action in this place."

Jack chuckled, drinking in the lean lines of the man before him, he was beautiful.

"I guess I should let you go then." He got up and cupped Ianto's face with both of his hands, kissing his mouth possessively. Ianto let him do it, Jack seemed to need the control and Ianto did whatever it took. His eyes shuttered closed as he enjoyed the flood of desire that tingled his skin, right before the guilt kicked into his gut. Ianto pulled back, breathless.

"You should let me go then."

Jack ruffled his hair and went back to his bunk. "See you in a couple of hours." Ianto nodded, accepting Jack's attempt at an uncaring dismissal without a word.


	3. Chapter 3

**PART THREE**

"Ianto, my office!"

Ianto's innards froze. He abandoned the half made lunches and marched stiffly to Jack's office. He was sore from the previous night of weevil hunting and hard, violent sex in Jack's office after wards. He could feel the eyes of the others on his back.

"Sir?" He stepped in through the door and Jack was smiling broadly at him as he sat down a little gingerly. Jack leapt up and closed the door before parking his arse on the edge of the desk right in front of where Ianto was sitting.

"You look a little uncomfortable." Jack commented with a leer.

Ianto couldn't help but roll his eyes. "That could have something to do with the bloody great bruises all over my back. That desk of yours is not comfortable, especially when you don't clear it first."

Jack merely grinned. "That's what I like about you, never one to turn down a challenge. So, I have another one for you."

Ianto's stomach tightened with a nervous cramp. "No handcuffs, sir. I draw the line at that."

He was met with a chuckle and Jack shaking his head. "Would you be so surprised that it doesn't involve me fucking you senseless?"

Ianto didn't reply. He just shrugged.

Jack actually pouted in response to that and Ianto couldn't believe his eyes.

"Sir?"

Jack frowned, it was time to be serious. "I need you to go to Torchwood House in Scotland and collect some artefacts from the Archive there. There is a lot to sort through and I reckon it will take you a couple of days so you may as well handle checking through Archie's expenses sheets at the Glasgow office whilst you're there. Should only take a week in all....."

Ianto felt sick. Lisa. He blanked his face wondering how in hell he was going to get out of this one. Shit. He nodded his head slowly.

"Of course, sir. When did you want me to go?"

"Book a flight for tomorrow or the day after." Jack pulled out his wallet and passed Ianto a credit card. "Use that for the Hotel and car hire."

Ianto took the proffered plastic. What the hell was he going to do?

"Right then. What's on the list? Will I need to freight the items?"

Jack twisted his body round to retrieve a list from his desk, he also handed that to his office boy.

"Rent a van and drive it back with these things. Sorry, I know it's a drag, but I really can't spare the others."

Ianto understood, it was his job after all..... what did Jack call it? General Support. Ianto likened himself to Baldric, with better hygiene and markedly improved dress sense, shame he didn't have any 'cunning plans' up his sleeve as well.

"It's fine, sir. It's what you pay me for."

He could feel that Jack was watching him closely, almost studying him and Ianto had to force himself not to shudder or look away.

"You've lost weight, you eating properly?"

Ianto baulked. "I'm sorry, sir?"

Jack folded his arms across his chest, suddenly slightly defensive. "I said are you eating properly? I mean I love a lean body an' all but you've got....."

"I'm fine, sir. I just don't indulge in cakes and biscuits like the rest of you."

Jack couldn't deny that. "You're ok then?" Owen had asked him to enquire.

Ianto nodded more than terrified at that point. "Really, sir. I'm fine." He hitched his best smile and Jack seemed convinced by it. Ianto sighed with relief when Jack rose to his feet and swung away from him.

"No handcuffs huh?"

It took Ianto a moment to register the remark. "Absolutely not."

Ianto stood at the coffee machine in a private moment of panic, what the hell was he going to do? His mind raced over the nonexistent options open to him. There was no way he could not go to Scotland, there was no way he could take Lisa with him, she was too dependent on the machinery keeping her alive. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! His hands shook as he prepared the team's coffees. And then it struck it him! The idea so terrifying and ludicrous it just might work.

By 6pm he had booked an afternoon flight up to Glasgow from Bristol, he was a nervous wreck, but no one would have guessed, he had learnt to hide himself well over the years. Jack, Owen and Tosh had gone out to investigate a police report and Suzie once again was bent over her workstation studying that creepy glove. Ianto sucked in a frightened breath as he approached her with a mug of her favourite coffee blend. He coughed to gain her attention, then glanced nervously in the direction of the roller door, the others should be gone for some time. Suzie straightened and practically snatched the coffee from him.

"Was there something you wanted?" She spoke with a dismissive tone and Ianto felt his proverbial hackles rise. Suzie had changed into something quite unpredictable over the last few weeks and he was half wondering now if he was about to do the right thing.

"Yes, there was actually. I have something in the archives I'd like to show you. It's important."

Suzie took a sip of her coffee savouring the flavour. "Can't Captain Shag deal with it?"

Ianto arched his eyebrows. "No, only you, because I need your help and you....." He gestured to her work. "Need mine."

Suzie lowered her mug and stared as if seeing him for the first time. "So the office boy HAS been up to something. I did wonder. What is it you want to show me?"

Ianto nodded in the direction of the exit that led to the lower levels. "It's in the basement, please come this way." He was almost shaking with nerves, this could be about to be the worst decision of his life, still if he couldn't convince her to do as he asked he would kill her, the weight of his side arm was reassuring under his jacket. Jack had taught him to use it well. Lisa. Whatever it took.

He turned and walked and Suzie, somewhat curious followed him so Ianto talked as he went.

"I know what that glove is for. I found detailed records from amongst the Canary Wharf files, but I before I give them to you I want something in return."

Suzie's eyes widened in annoyance and surprise. "I see, so hiding this information amounts to you now committing an act of bribery, I didn't know you had it in you. Mind you you've had our gallant Captain often enough I suppose I shouldn't be surprised really, should I? What are you hiding down here?"

So, she had noticed then.

Ianto paused in the dank corridor and faced her. "My future." He replied before turning and continuing to walk. Suzie frowned but followed on anyway.

"This had better be good Jones."

They stopped in the lower most corridor outside a wooden door and Ianto let them in. Suzie stood at the threshold and gaped.

"Oh my God!"

Ianto walked in and stepped around the glistening machinery to greet the stunning black woman held within. Suzie gaped, lost for further word and she watched as Ianto briefly kissed the lips of an unmoving face. The sight of the machinery drew Suzie further into the room and she slowly circled it taking in the monitors, the partial conversion unit and the jerry rigged power supply. Ianto, it seemed was a hell of a lot smarter than any of them had guessed.

"Is she....?"

"Human? Yes. Alive? Yes. This is Lisa Hallet, my girlfriend, survivor number 28 of Canary Wharf." Ianto was watching the woman apparently asleep on the bed of metal.

"If Jack finds out....."

Ianto shot her a deathly look. "He's not going to, because you are not going to tell him."

Suzie came closer to get a better look at the woman's face, she would have been quite beautiful once.

"So why are you telling me now? What do you want?"

Ianto returned his gaze to the unconscious Lisa. "I need you care for her whilst I am in Scotland. I need you to keep my secret, in exchange I will give you information on the glove and you can study Lisa and the machinery, so long as no harm comes to her."

His hand went to his weapon concealed beneath expensive pinstripes.

"And if I refuse?"

"I will kill you." He raised the weapon, but did not point it directly at her. "I'm good with this thing these days and down here no one would think to look for your body."

Somehow Suzie knew he wasn't joking, not that she was especially intimidated, she'd been wanting to get her hands on Cyber tech ever since she had first seen it and if he did have the key to the glove......

Suzie shrugged. "Alright, what makes you think the information on the glove is worth this?"

Ianto re holstered his gun. "Oh, believe me it's worth it, you'll just have to take my word on that."

"So tell me."

Ianto wasn't THAT stupid. "I will when I return from Scotland and find Lisa alive and safe and the others still ignorant of her presence here."

"I see." Suzie stepped away from him and turned her attention to the conversion unit and its contents. "Is this thing really worth that much to you?"

"She is everything."

"You're taking a huge risk, trusting me."

Ianto hitched an agitated breath. "Do we have a deal?"

Suzie smiled at him in a way that wasn't in the least bit comforting. "We have a deal... for now."

Ianto nodded, he knew it was the best he could hope for, he had no choice.

"Good. I'd better show you how all this works then."

Later that night and Ianto found himself clearing away discarded take away containers once again. The others had gone home. Suzie had been the last to leave throwing a calculating look in Ianto's direction as the cog door closed. Even Jack had gone out, no doubt to find a stranger's bed for the night or some random roof top. Ianto was just glad to have the Hub to himself.

He stood at Lisa's side looking down on her peaceful face. She was drugged of course, the pain meds were the only thing that gave her any peace. He watched her sleeping face trying so hard to recall what it looked like before being framed with the metal. He loved her so much that every nerve in his body ached with the loss of her. Was he losing her? Had he lost her already? No, he would never accept that she wasn't in there somewhere, his beautiful, laughing Lisa. He gently caressed her cheek, the skin smooth and warm under his fingertips.

"I'll only be gone a few days my love. Suzie will take care of you. I promise you'll be safe." He knew how weak that promise was, he was risking everything on the basis of Suzie's greed for knowledge. Knowledge was power and Suzie would gain a great deal of that once she knew what the glove could do. In her hands its full potential would soon be realised. The idea was repulsive to him, but it was the only bargaining chip he had. There was always a possibility he'd find something useful in Scotland anyway, the archive there was huge. He bent down and kissed Lisa's forehead.

"Goodnight my love."

When he came back up into the darkened space of the Hub he could see the lights on in Jack's office. He heard the sound of a woman's laughter, but it wasn't a voice he recognised. Ianto headed home.

Suzie sprawled on her untidy bed mulling over the agreement she had made with Ianto. It was foolish, of course and downright dangerous. If Jack found out they'd both be dead and that hybrid Cyber creature would be in the incinerator in an instant. It didn't matter anymore, only the glove was important, she could feel it's affect on her even now, opening up areas of her brain she hadn't even known about. She could feel the others around her, almost bathe in their emotions and she soaked up Ianto's fear and grief, Owen's bitterness and lust and Toshiko's loneliness. It was like a tonic flowing through her veins. She got nothing from Jack, but she was pretty sure he wasn't your average human anyway, he'd proved that in her bed often enough in the past. For now, she'd play along with Ianto's little game until such time as it became unprofitable for her to do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**PART FOUR**

Suzie crept into the dank basement room and closed the door quietly behind her. There was something vaguely thrilling about skulking around the lower levels of the Hub and she half wondered somewhat cynically if Ianto got off on it. She edged closer to the metal frame work that encased Ianto's secret and began to run a scanner over the still form of Lisa Hallet. It had become quickly apparent to Suzie that the life support system needed recalibrating and she set about the task, like she would any other technical puzzle, if nothing else Lisa would be more comfortable and coherent and that was something she needed because Suzie wanted to talk to her in order to discover how far she had been converted from human to machine. Her agreement with Ianto didn't include any of this, but Suzie wanted answers, wanted to study and maybe even find a way of releasing an enhanced being without her being controlled by her cybernetic componants. The applications for medicine and science were staggering if they could be achieved. The glove held similar promise. Suzie rarely went anywhere without it, even risking keeping in her shoulder bag so she could feel its presence close by. She drew strength from that and an increased confidence in herself that she had never felt before. The others would never understand that of course and that is why she didn't tell them. Her report to Jack had indicated that she believed the object to be inert, even if it was unearthly.

On the third night of Ianto's absence, Lisa woke up and stared terrified into Suzie's darkened eyes and Suzie spoke, almost as if she was reciting a litany and Lisa, trapped and helpless had no choice but to listen.

"I've improved the life support so you can talk and have less pain relief. I'm helping Ianto, so don't worry provided both you and he co-operate you will be quite safe."

Lisa could only look at the ceiling.

"Are you Torchwood?"

Suzie stepped forward leaning over her charge. "Call me Suzie. How are you feeling?"

Lisa could only frown at the question.

"Are you in pain?"

"Yes I am, but its not as bad as it was."

Suzie nodded and smiled her hair flopping down and shadowing her face.

"How did Ianto know how to build all this?" She gestured to the machinery and Lisa's eyes followed her.

"I told him what to do."

"Lisa told him or the Cyberman told him?"

Lisa's eyes widened. "I told him." She repeated........

Ianto scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. It was a long drive back from Glasgow and sods law he ended up being stuck on the M6 southbound on the wrong side of an accident. There was no way he'd be back in Cardiff before mid night now. He pulled out his mobile phone and speed dialled Jack before shoving his Bluetooth into his left ear. He was tired and irritable. Archie Cavanagh had frightened the life out of him and he'd found nothing useful at Torchwood House that would help Lisa. Still, the one plus Suzie hadn't betrayed him because he was still alive and whilst he knew she couldn't be trusted, she could obviously be bribed.

"Hey Ianto, where are you?" Jack's cheerful yelling forced him to yank the ear piece out so he switched to speaker phone instead.

"Just north of Birmingham and sitting in tailbacks, looks like I'll be here for a while, sir."

Ianto leant on the steering wheel, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd be back earlier."

"Me too. Thanks for the warning about Archie's imaginative accounting, by the way!"

"I knew you'd enjoy the challenge. Well I'll wait up for you to help you unload, so come straight to the Hub as soon as you get into Cardiff."

Ianto rolled his eyes, in other words Jack was planning on shagging him senseless when he got back.

"Yes, sir." Ianto didn't mind so much, the sex was enough to distract him from his darkening thoughts, if only for the hour or so that it took. Captain Harkness certainly didn't disappoint and now that he'd gotten over the fact that he was a man..... Well he would prefer Lisa and would one day have her again, whole and beautiful. Jack hung up and Ianto pretty much guessed that his boss was obviously not in the mood to make any effort to search out tonight's entertainment.

4:30am saw the transit van unloaded and Ianto's suit bag and luggage dumped untidily on the couch behind Toshiko's desk. Ianto couldn't help but heave a sigh of relief, his secret had not been discovered in his absence. Ianto had barely had time to put the bags down before Jack was dragging him by the lapels of his jacket towards the boardroom. Ianto inwardly sighed, it was going to be rough. He hadn't even had the opportunity to look in on Lisa. He allowed himself to be manouvered by Jack's well practised hands, though he still dipped his head shyly when his clothes started to come off. Jack didn't seem to notice, or else he didn't much care. There was no preamble, no conversation, no fore play and less than half an hour later Ianto stood alone under a hot shower washing away his pain and shame. The tears were lost in soapy water. Ianto could feel himself sinking further and further into despair, but he wanted to be absolutely certain that there was no trace of Jack on him when he went down to see Lisa.

He was startled to find her awake, lucid and in deep conversation with Suzie Costello. He entered the room like a ghost and Suzie offered up a smug grin, she had witnessed his encounter with Jack over the boardroom table and enjoyed the view.

"Well, Ianto. How was Scotland?" She moved aside so he could see Lisa and watched somewhat disconcerted when he leant over and kissed her, gently caressing her cheek. The two lovers exchanged heartfelt endearments and Ianto perched on the stool at her side and gripped her fingers taking a thoroughly good look over the life support equipment.

"Suzie made it work better. I'm feeling much stronger now." Lisa told him.

Ianto smiled down at her and then looked up at Suzie, knowing there would be a price.

"Thank you."

Suzie folded her arms. "We have business to conclude, have your little reunion and then meet me at my desk with that information you promised me."

Ianto swallowed suddenly realising what a dangerous position he was in. Maybe he should kill her now. He returned his gaze to Lisa.

"Don't worry Ianto, she told me about your arrangement. There's lots I can tell her and maybe she can help me get free of this."

Ianto nodded not even slightly reassured. "I'm sorry I had to bring her in."

"I know, but you did it for me Ianto and she has already helped me become more comfortable."

He kissed her briefly. "I best get her files. I'll be back as soon as I can."

He left the room locking it shut behind him. Lisa lay there, staring at the concrete ceiling processing what was happening to her and how she might break free and how she and Ianto could be upgraded together and be that way forever. Wasn't that true love? He had certainly shown her the depth of his feelings.

By the end of the following week Suzie had begun experimenting with the glove. Owen was somewhat puzzled by her request to access the morgue and the bodies housed therein.

It was raining once again and Owen had to admit that he couldn't actually remember a day when it hadn't rained in this stupid city. Not that he was complaining because he was indoors, at home sprawled on his couch with some random blonde bird he'd picked up at his local. His moment of happiness was ruined by the ringing of his phone just as he was about to get lucky. You simply didn't ignore calls from work and no other bugger had his number.

Ianto sat hunched over on the autopsy table. Jack tried valiantly to hold him upright as he spoke into his phone, well yelled really, for Owen to get his arse back to the Hub..... Feeding time for their resident weevil had gone seriously wrong and somehow Janet had managed to escape her cell and rip a rather large hole into Ianto's side in the process. Jack was thinking the younger man had gotten off with a scratch until he saw all the blood oozing from deep jagged claw wounds that could have easily taken out Ianto's kidney. Jack hung up and Ianto by that point had flopped bonelessly against him mumbling incoherently about spare parts and not wanting stitches. Cursing Jack managed to remove the ruined Jacket and shirt and lay Ianto back against the cold metal table just as Owen arrived to deal with his casualty. Ianto was out of it, aided by the shot of morphine that went into his leg. Jack ran off to contain the roaming weevil, she wouldn't get far.

Suzie hung back by her desk, disappointed to note that Ianto had survived the 'weevil attack', so an accidental death was just going to be too difficult to organise. The bodies in the morgue had all produced negative results for her tests, she needed fresh deaths, violent fresh deaths, she craved them and somehow that office boy upstart had gotten lucky. It would look too suspicious if she tried to kill him again. She'd use the knife, somehow it was connected to the glove, it practically begged for that connection to be made.

Ianto came round to discover Jack hovering over him with a concerned frown on his handsome face and by God if he didn't actually care. Ianto blinked up at his boss and hitched a drug induced smile.

"I'm ok, sir. Had worse over your desk." He mumbled.

Jack burst out laughing and carded his fingers rather tenderly through Ianto's hair. Ianto turned into the touch and hummed a sigh of contentment before he went back to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**PART FIVE**

The act of kindness disturbed Ianto more than the injury itself. The gashes in his side whilst not serious, were extremely painful and for some reason, unknown to Ianto, Jack was attentive and sympathetic. It bordered on affection and that was truly terrifying. It made Ianto feel guiltier than ever when three nights after the incident with the Weevil Jack took him to his bed and made love to him. What frightened him was the realisation that he actually cared about the fact he was betraying this extraordinary man and the fact that Jack was.... Ianto wondered about that. It was just Jack's way of apologising for Ianto's injuries. Jack hated it when one of his team got hurt. That's all it was. That's all it could be. For once Ianto hadn't bolted from the bed afterwards and though he didn't sleep he did take comfort from the strong arms wrapped around his battered body. Comfort, yes that's what it was. Maybe Jack had needed it too.

Suzie finally revealed to the team what she thought the glove could do, explaining somewhat loosely that it may enable them to converse with the dead. Conveniently three dead bodies were close to hand, a WPC got too nosy for her own good and Suzie's experimentations were put to an end. Ianto wasn't even slightly surprised that Suzie had turned murderer, she had been tipped over the edge from the moment she had first put on that glove. He was glad to have it secured away and Ianto made doubly sure that no one had found Suzie's notes on Lisa and the Cyber conversion unit. The threat to his secret was gone and the weight of the world had almost been lifted off his shoulders. If nothing else Suzie had vastly improved the efficiency of the equipment keeping Lisa maintained. It bought him some time to find the help that he needed. He'd heard word of a man in Japan, he'd worked for Torchwood One in the past and he was a robotics specialist. Part of him doubted that it was a truly living state that Lisa was in but at least now he and Lisa could talk long into the night and that above all else that gave him a hope that he had previously lost. Maybe if this Japanese doctor could free her.............

Gwen Cooper's arrival was an added bonus. Jack was instantly distracted by her 'oh so bleeding heart on her sleeve, I have a normal life' attitude. Ianto found himself mildly disturbed by how easily Jack had replaced Suzie. Gwen's refreshing presence lit the place up like a Christmas tree and Ianto couldn't stand the sight of her. She reminded him of everything he had lost. Jack however, didn't quit with the flirting or expecting Ianto's company in his moments of boredom. Thankfully it had gone back to being hard and fast stolen moments and none of the previously displayed affection was apparent. Jack was definitely pre occupied and kept talking about random things that Ianto didn't care to understand. It was obvious to Ianto that Jack was waiting for an out.... to where he had no idea but Jack seemed determined to build a self sufficient team and Gwen was expected to be a major part of that. It seemed like they were all waiting for something.

Ianto found himself drifting back into the shadows. He was never out in the field these days as Jack made a point of taking Gwen and getting her thoroughly trained up. Ianto suspected that Jack was grooming her for his bed. He didn't mind in the slightest, it meant more time with Lisa and the Archives and much less contact with his colleagues. No one seemed to notice, provided the coffee and food was on time and the Hub was tidy and all the files were in order. Ianto worked in efficient silence and essentially melted into the framework of the building in which they worked. Gwen Cooper soon became embroiled in the world of Torchwood and completely enamoured by her new boss. Owen Harper flirted with her relentlessly and Jack just spent every moment he could in her cheerfully refreshing company. Ianto still avoided her, he was damaged beyond repair and wondered how soon it would be before she got damaged too. Her clumsy mistakes aside the 'newby' had fitted in well......

Ianto carefully arranged the four mugs on the tray and took it up to the boardroom. His four colleagues were joking about happily amongst themselves as he slid into the room and placed the tray on the table. He stepped back just as quietly until a voice caused him to freeze at the door.

"Ianto, aren't you joining us?" It was Gwen, her innocent curiosity grated on his nerves immediately.

"No. I'll have mine in the Tourist office." He said using his bland face and voice, which garnered a concerned frown from Jack. "I've paperwork to catch up with." He added deciding an explanation was clearly required as he exited the room with eyes burning his back as he went.

Gwen watched the younger countryman depart and turned to the rest of the team.

"Is he always so..... well.... detatched?"

Owen grabbed his mug. "Yep, he's a weird one that, but so long as his coffee keeps coming I am not complaining, he can be as weird as he likes."

"He's just shy." Tosh put in, vaguely annoyed with Owen's description of her colleague. "This place would fall apart without him."

Owen baulked. "Rubbish, all he does is make coffee and clean up."

Gwen watched her teammates, Tosh was clearly peeved. "Oh, yes like you remember to finalise your paperwork, or restock your cabinets and sort out the bodies.... shall I go on?"

Gwen smiled, she hadn't really thought about it before, just noticed that Ianto never shared any time with the team apart from that once when he had sat and had Chinese take outs with them.

"He's a freaky loner who probably relies on his own hand for company."

At that Jack spat out his coffee in surprise.

"Owen that's not very nice." Tosh snapped.

"It's true, come on what bird would want to pick up that miserable git? He's so neat it's not healthy!"

"So he hasn't got a girlfriend then?" Gwen decided that being nosy would avert and argument.

Jack shook his head. "She died at Canary Wharf."

"Is that significant?"

Jack nodded. "It was Torchwood One, where he used to work before he came to us....."

"You mean before you picked him up off the street!"

Jack couldn't argue the point. "Torchwood One was destroyed 7 months ago, there were well over 1200 people working there, Ianto was one of 27 survivors. It's been hard for him the circumstances were somewhat unusual, I guess he prefers to be left alone. But as Tosh quite rightly stated, this place would fall apart without him."

Ianto switched off the CCTV feed, royally annoyed that they were discussing him behind his back. Still, what else did he expect? It isn't like he made any effort to socialise with his colleague and what he did with Jack was purely about relieving the pressure. Ianto sighed and got back to his forms, Owen was right, he was miserable, he was tired and he was frightened. He buried himself in the monotony of his work and was startled out of it by a tap on his shoulder. He looked up and there was Gwen Cooper, smiling at him in an open, friendly way that he found rather nauseating. She was proffering a mug of tea.

"Thought you might like this, you've been up here for hours on your own."

Ianto put down his pen completely at a loss for words so he just took the tea with a nod of thanks.

"I thought I could help you with that, rather than have you up here on your own."

Ianto almost rolled his eyes. He smiled instead.

"It's quite alright, after all this is my job, administration and manning the tourist office."

Gwen nodded. "Yes, but I thought the company might be nice for you."

"Oh, right. Well thank you, but it's alright. I talk to the tourists when they come in, really there's no need to trouble yourself."

Gwen was obviously not to be deterred. "So you're from Cardiff then?"

Ianto resigned himself to the interrogation. "Newport actually, you?"

"Cardiff born and bred. So how long have you been with Torchwood?"

Ianto wondered why she was asking, surely she already knew.

"I've been here for 7 months, before that I was in London at Torchwood One for two years. I was recruited straight from University."

"What was it like in London? Jack says the office was at Canary Wharf."

Ianto nodded and carefully put aside his papers before picking up his tea again.

"It was cleaner." He dead panned.

Gwen gaped at him and then laughed. Ianto hitched a faint smile and sipped at the tea, which was surprisingly good.

"Come on Ianto tell me more, I mean this job, the things you must have seen there."

He gave her an appraising look. Maybe she wasn't as bad as he first thought.

"It was." He sighed and ended up gazing into the middle distance. "I was happy there, I had friends and a nice safe job in an office, with a telephone and a computer. That was it really, I never did any of the glamorous Alien catching. I just worked in an office and now it's all gone." He sipped some tea. Shit what had possessed him to say that?

Gwen's smile faltered slightly. "I'm sorry."

That surprised him. "Whatever for? What happened wasn't anything to do with you."

"For your loss Ianto. You don't talk about it do you?"

Ianto lowered the mug. "There's not a lot to say, people die every day. I just lost everyone on the same day that's all. That's Torchwood really and in the end Torchwood is all there is for me."

"I don't believe it for one moment. You're young and handsome, you'll meet someone else soon enough."

"No I won't, because I could never put them through what I went through. I'd never be able to share this life with them.... I'm sorry Gwen I know you mean well, but really I'm fine with the way things are." He finished his tea and handed the mug back to her. "The tea was lovely, thank you."

She accepted the mug and the remark as a polite dismissal.

"Do you speak Welsh?" She asked as she turned to leave.

Ianto frowned at the question. "Welsh, Japanese, German and some Mandarin, why?"

Gwen smiled. "Just wondered."

Ianto watched her go back down below through the 'secret' door and shaking his head he back to his work in contented silence. He pondered the word content and realised just how much he had enjoyed the conversation. It had been completely different to the times he had sat and listened to Jack, because Jack had never listened to him, or asked him anything. He realised with some shock that Gwen had actually asked.

The floor was ripped out from under Ianto's feet a few weeks later. Lisa had been set free and the man who had done it had paid the ultimate price. Ianto spiralled so consumed with remorse that he could hardly breathe as he knelt down on the concrete beside Lisa's remains.

Owen was the first to move. He holstered his gun, strode forwards and bent down at Ianto's side pulling him into an awkward embrace. He understood, Lisa could have easily been Katie. He held on to the young man as hard as he could and gently guided him to unsteady feet. The others parted to allow them through and away from the carnage. The last thing Ianto remembered of that day was a needle going into his thigh.

Owen carefully pulled the blanket over his unconscious patient, painfully aware of the three people on the upper level looking down on him. He looked at his colleagues and boss and sighed heavily.

"How the fuck did we not see that coming?" He demanded of no one in particular.

"How is he?" Jack moved along the gantry and down the steps.

Owen stepped aside so that Jack could look Ianto over for himself, the boy wouldn't be waking up any time soon, Owen had made sure of that.

"That's about the stupidest quest......"

"Owen!"

The medic sighed overwhelmed by his own sense of failure; he'd never especially liked Ianto but.... well this was a bloody mess and Owen knew he should have seen it.

"He's in deep shock. I gave him a powerful sedative. He's exhausted, underweight and has two fracture ribs. Mentally? Well you saw for yourself."

Jack nodded and Owen was surprised to see him tenderly run his fingers through Ianto's hair before stepping away from the exam couch on which he lay.

"Right, Gwen you stay here with Ianto. The rest of us will clean up. If he comes round let know."

Gwen immediately stepped down to take up a seat beside her colleague, she was too shocked herself for words and had nothing but the deepest sympathy for the young man. She fleetingly wondered what Jack would do with him, she'd overheard Owen talking about execution had seen Jack threaten exactly that and all she could think was, poor Ianto. To her surprise Tosh stepped down into the bay and went to the other side of Ianto's cot, she caressed his forehead gently with her fingertips and kissed his pale cheek.

"I'm sorry Ianto."

Ianto came round into a numb haze of drug induced cotton wool. He was thankful for it, because the pain was dulled to a manageable amount as he sat himself up on the exam couch. He could see Owen's back as the medic was working at his computer, but otherwise the Hub beyond the bay appeared to be in darkness. How long had he been out? Lisa!

"Oh." It escaped as a sob and Owen was instantly at his side. Ianto shied away from him and ended up falling off the table and landing in a heap on the tiled floor. He backed himself against the cupboards and drew his knees into his chest. Owen approached, edging forwards in a crouch.

"It's alright mate. It's alright."

Ianto tightened himself into a ball. "Get away from me."

Owen froze and sat down, not risking coming any closer in case Ianto lashed out.

"Come on Ianto, lets get you up off the floor yeah?"

Ianto stared at him, he just wanted to be left alone to die, what else was there now except Jack's wrath.

Owen sighed. "Look mate, you can't stay there all night and you really need a shower and a change of clothes. Come on Ianto."

"Leave me alone, just give me my gun and leave me alone."

Owen baulked. "No can do mate. Come on Ianto."

Tears flooded and Ianto felt his heart burst in his chest. "Please let me go, I just want to go." He watched as Owen edged a little closer, one placative hand stretched out.

"You know I can't do that. Everything will be alright Ianto. It will be and we all forgive you so lets not have any of this going nonsense mate. Let me help you."

On hearing the voices drift up from the autopsy bay Jack stepped out of his office to see what was going on. He had been fluctuating between blind anger, overwhelming pity and guilt all day. He felt used and betrayed but realised somewhat uselessly just how little he had come to know the young man he fucked on a regular basis. Jack wasn't accustomed to getting to know his lovers, the last one he had gotten involved with had ended in her getting pregnant and leaving him. Jack had learnt the hard way not to get attached, not to hope for anything other than gratification, but somehow Ianto Jones had gotten under that thick layer of skin. Jack sighed as he made his way down to the medical area and he stopped half way down the tiled steps when he saw what was happening.

"Everything ok?" He asked softly. Owen glanced over his shoulder and glared.

"Yes, obviously fucking hilarious Jack!" He hissed.

Jack came the rest of the way and went straight to Ianto's side. Without preamble he gripped Ianto's arms and hoisted him to his feet. Ianto's protest was bordering on the pathetic.

"Where do you want him?"

Owen straightened up. "Locker rooms, he needs to be cleaned up."

Jack couldn't argue with that, Ianto stank of stale sweat and blood. He steered the younger man along and Ianto was forced to move his feet or fall over. He chose to move somewhat awkwardly in Jack's firm grip. Owen was trailing behind them.

Ianto stood, still dazed and swaying dangerously on his feet as Jack and Owen both got him undressed and into the shower. Jack shooed Owen away at that point and stripped himself to join Ianto. Owen sincerely hoped that Jack would behave himself as he wandered back up to the main area of the Hub. He could hear the leather bird cawing up in the rafters, still in a snit over her encounter with Lisa. Owen couldn't blame her really, it would be a while before any of them forgot about that.


	6. Chapter 6

**PART SIX**

Ianto stared. He couldn't have said what it was he was staring at though. His unfocussed unblinking gaze was fixed Lord only knew where. Jack had guided him out of the shower and sat him down on the bench by the lockers. Owen was nearby handing out towels to Jack, one of which he secured around his waist before turning his attention to his youngest team member. Carefully the two men dried Ianto off and got him dressed in T-shirt and track pants. He was a pathetic, catatonic sight by the end of it. Owen pulled another syringe from his medical bag and Jack watched as another shot was administered.

"What's in that?" Jack asked.

"Just a mild relaxant, his muscles are like wires. What do you want to do with him Jack?"

There it was, the question.... the ultimate question when all was said and done. Jack pulled on his own clothes and towelled at his hair for a moment, sending quick glances in Ianto's direction every so often. Ianto was oblivious.

"Let's get him home and into bed. He must be exhausted."

Owen looked slightly nervous. "That isn't what I meant."

Jack dropped the towel to the concrete floor. "I'll suspend him on half pay for a few weeks. I think that'll be punishment enough, don't you?"

The medic let out an audible sigh of relief. "Yep.... Jack he shouldn't be left alone. Aside from the fact he needs IV fluids, there's a good chance he'll try something stupid."

Jack looked at Owen thoughtfully. "What do you suggest?"

Owen shrugged. "I don't know... I mean does he have family?"

"No, I don't!"

Jack and Owen both swung their heads round. Jack couldn't help but feel a degree of his anger well up.

"You be quiet!"

Owen's eyebrows shot up as Ianto rose unsteadily to his feet. "I'll go home, that way I can't do any more damage. I'll be fine, just give me some retcon or something and I'll be out of your way."

Jack stopped him from moving further by grasping his upper arm tightly. "Is that what you want?"

Ianto met his look and Jack sucked in a steadying breath at the emptiness in those beautiful blues.

"I just.... just." Ianto sighed and turned his face away from Jack's penetrating gaze. "Just let me go."

Jack obviously misunderstood. "Where do you want to go?"

"Dead."

"Not gonna happen Ianto! You're not getting off that lightly, you're already responsible for the deaths of two civilians though Tanizaki is no great loss, you've lied to us, used us, quite frankly that's a shit load to make up for and no way am I letting you get away with it. So deal with it!"

Ianto wrenched himself from Jack's grip and lunged for his side arm.

"Fuck you!" He screamed as he grabbed Jack's gun.

Owen and Jack flew at him tackling him to the hard floor and the Webley was prized from Ianto's desperate grip. He screamed at them again and kicked out a well aimed foot into Jack's groin before he felt a second needle go into his lower leg. Ianto gawped at Owen with hatred in his eyes before collapsing unconscious in a heap, half over Jack. Wincing with pain Jack sat himself up and hauled Ianto's limp form into his arms and held him close, gently stroking at the mussed damp hair.

"Shit."

Owen straightened himself and bagged the used syringe. "Like I said, we'll need to keep an eye on him."

Jack nodded. "We'll set up temporary quarters here then, with CCTV. I'll need you to set up some therapy for him, I don't know there must be someone in UNIT or something."

Owen couldn't agree more. "Yeah, I know a good shrink. I'll sort it out. I can't believe this got by us Jack. Are we really so fucking dence?"

Jack was still fussing with Ianto's hair. "No, he just got by us Owen. He knew exactly what he was doing and I gotta hand it to him, really, I don't think any of us would have been able to do it."

"Poor bastard."

"All we can do is make sure he gets through this."

Ianto's temporary quarters turned out to be a converted cell. Ianto didn't seem to care one way or the other, he just sat in the corner of it and refused to move, eat or drink, after a couple of days Owen had to sedate him to get some fluids and a feed tube down his throat. Gwen and Tosh took turns sitting by his side and Gwen had protested somewhat loudly at the use of restraints, but Owen had gotten fed up of Ianto waking up and yanking needles and tubes out. Gwen read to him in Welsh and Tosh sat there chatting about all the different things that had been happening. Ianto just lay there and tried to ignore the forgiveness in their eyes because he knew he didn't deserve it. By the end of that first week he started to co-operate. It was something that Jack had said back in the shower room.

"Don't think you're getting off that lightly!"

Ianto sat up that night and took the cup of tea that Toshiko offered him and this time he drank it down, unable to look at her. Jack understood the best way to punish him was to make him live with the memories and the loss. Suddenly Ianto understood that as well and live he would, the rest of his life spent in servitude to Torchwood, there was nothing else he could do and no way to bring back Lisa anymore. Her body had been incinerated. Ianto ate and drank everything put in front of him and then he went back to work as if nothing had happened. Except it had.

Jack watched with growing concern as Ianto went about his duties with clinical efficiency, he almost never spoke and absolutely everything was done ahead of time with no room for error. The coffee was perfect, the filing was beyond miraculous and the Archives were put into order. The offer of having someone 'professional' to talk to was politely refused, but when Owen insisted all Ianto did was sit there with Dr Bowens and say nothing. Ianto was willing to pay the price for failing Lisa, the rest just didn't matter anymore.

Toshiko tried her best. She'd always had a bit of a soft spot for Ianto and she made a valiant effort to get to know him. Initially her efforts were ignored, but slowly the barriers he'd put up began to recede as he settled himself into his self imposed purgatory, there was really no point in making everyone else miserable as well. He never spoke of his feelings and kept that polite half smile that never reached his eyes firmly in place.

Gwen tried to act as if nothing had happened and Jack and Owen watched him like hawks. Owen couldn't help but be amazed that there had been no suicide attempts to deal with. Jack just wondered how on Earth he was going to be able to try and rebuild his relationship with the younger man. It had started with a simple comforting hand on his shoulder late one night when discussing the recent odd weather. Ianto actually smiled, briefly and faintly, but it was there non the less and Jack realised in that moment that the two of them may just stand some chance of being able to speak to one another again. Anything else would be a bonus.

Jasmine went to the faeries and Gwen, Owen and Tosh all glared at Jack in unspoken accusation. Ianto read the reports before filing them and finalised the arrangements for Estelle Cole's funeral. He watched his colleagues leave for the day in a huff and went about his cleaning duties before retiring to the Archive to continue the inventory on the Canary Wharf artefacts. He buried himself in the job and was more than a little surprised to be disturbed at 11pm by Jack, standing in the doorway of Ianto's dank 'office' leaning against the jamb.

"You should've gone home hours ago."

Ianto continued to work, packing some small items into a containment case ready for shelving.

"I wanted to get this done, sir. Did you need anything?"

Jack sloped in and perched his arse on the edge of the old desk that Ianto had obviously found from somewhere. He picked up some random glasslike thing and turned it over in his hands. He really didn't know why he was down in this sinkhole, he preferred to be out in the light or high up, he'd never liked being underground that much.

"I could do with some of your coffee magic."

Ianto nodded. "Of course, sir. Just give me a minute to stow this." He closed up the case and attached the label.

"Did the others tell you what happened today?" There was a slight tremor in his voice.

Ianto stopped what he was doing and looked straight at Jack. "No, I read the report. You did what had to be done, there was no choice, and by all accounts she wanted to go anyway. I don't see the problem, sir." He responded matter-of-fact.

Jack arched his eyebrows, taken aback. "You weren't there."

"No sir and for that I am thankful. It is a decision I fear I would not have been able to make. It's why you're in charge and I never could be." Ianto rested his hands on the top of the box. "It was the same with Lisa. I hate you for it, but I know you were right. She was gone at Canary Wharf. I would never have seen that, not even after she turned against me. You had to make a decision then too. I do not envy you that position."

Jack met his look and saw only sincerity there. There was no sugar coating what he had been forced to do, Ianto understood that. Jack sucked in a deep breath and sighed it out.

"How are you Ianto?"

The blank mask that Ianto customarily wore slid back into place. "I'm fine sir, thank you."

Exasperated Jack shook his head. "Why don't you ever talk? There is no need for you to hide your feelings from us, from me."

Ianto looked into Jack's handsome face, and yes it was handsome. There were no hidden agendas there. So steeling himself he spoke.

"Everyone I touch, everyone that I love, dies. My Tad, my mam, Jordan, Ollie, Michelle and Lisa. I was happy in London and when the Cybermen came I lost everything..... even Lisa. I failed her. I promised I would make her whole again and I failed her. I stood by a fire exit on my floor and directed 18 of my colleagues to what I thought was a safe route out and they ran straight down to where those conversion units were operating. Everything dies, sir. My guts hurt with the guilt and I have never felt so alone in all my life. I haven't hardly spoken to my sister since Tad died because with this job there's nothing I can share with her and I don't want her family contaminated by Torchwood. We're never safe with what we do. But I choose to be here. That's how I feel, sir."

Jack was at a loss, that had to be the most Ianto had ever said in one hit.

"Thank you." He said finally.

Ianto's brow creased in an adorable frown. Jack wanted to kiss it away.

"What for, sir?"

Once again Jack pondered what to say before replying.

"For making that choice Ianto, for being strong enough."

"I don't have anywhere else to go."

"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that. This place can be kinda lonely."

Ianto looked away and lifted the case in both hands. "I should get this put away and make the coffee."

Jack stood up.

"I've made provisional arrangements for Miss Cole's funeral, you just need to check that you are happy before I confirm with the undertakers." Ianto turned to leave and Jack reached out and grasped his arm.

"Thank you for that, I'm sure it'll be fine. What about the cat?"

Ianto smiled at that. "He's in a cage in my car. I was going to keep him, if that's alright, I could do with the company."

Jack lowered his hand. "Of course, I know Estelle would appreciate it. You go put that away and head home."

Ianto hesitated at the door and turned to face Jack. "Are you alright, sir?"

Jack hitched a faint smile. "Better than I was before talking to you. Good night Ianto."

"Night, sir."

**AN:Not sure about this chapter at all really.... hope it's not sappy.**


	7. Chapter 7

**PART SEVEN**

It was a good day for a funeral. Jack couldn't help but appreciate it. Estelle would have loved the sunlight and the colours of Autumn that settled on the grass and head stones. Ianto had chosen the perfect place, whether by design or accident, Jack didn't care which. It was an ideal send off for an amazing woman. He was surprised to see quite a gathering of people there, including one Ianto Jones who had never even met her. Jack had hung back to watch from a discrete distance. There were no relatives in attendance because there weren't any left alive but the people gathered there at her graveside seemed genuinely sorry to see her go. Ianto was the last to leave, throwing a single red flower into the grave before walking away his head down. Jack found himself wondering why Ianto had been there and as soon as the young man was out of sight he wandered out from his hiding place weaving around the graves to where Estelle lay. Two young lads had already started to fill in the hole over the coffin and they paused in their work as Jack approached. Jack smiled at them.

"It's ok please don't stop on my account."

They continued with their work in respectful silence and Jack watched as another loved soul was lost to him forever. At least Estelle had had a good and happy life, there was that much to be thankful for at least.

Ianto stepped into the Hub through the cog door and was immediately accosted by Gwen.

"Have you seen Jack this morning?"

Ianto gave her a frown. "No, I was expecting to see him at Estelle Cole's funeral, but he wasn't there."

"But you went?"

Ianto nodded. "I made the arrangements, I wanted to make sure it went as planned, we're not exactly busy today. I read all her books you know."

Gwen's eyes widened. "You did?" Somehow she couldn't imagine Ianto reading faerie stories.

"Yes, at university, she really was quite amazing. Coffee?" He just wanted to avoid further conversation.

"That would be well over due Tea Boy.... get to it you've already had half the morning off!" Owen bellowed from the autopsy bay. Ianto rolled his eyes and Gwen had to smile at that.

"Coffee would be lovely Ianto."

"Tosh?"

Toshiko looked up and pulled off her glasses. "Yes please, and I it's think it's very nice that you went to Estelle's funeral, I'm sure Jack will appreciate the gesture."

Ianto hoped he would, there was still a lot he had to make for up for. He went to the kitchenette and began making coffee for the team. He hoped that Owen hadn't eaten all the cakes he had put in the fridge first thing that morning and discovered that amazingly he hadn't.... That had to be a first.

Ianto slumped down onto his couch with a plate of cheese on toast and a bottle of beer. It made a pleasant change to actually get home before the six o clock news on the BBC. He'd got in and changed and had his tea ready to eat in front of the TV when the door bell rang. He sighed, a trifle annoyed before realising that no one actually normally visited him and he was more curious than annoyed by the time he got to the front door. He was rather taken aback to find his boss standing there, coat tails flapping in the brisk wind, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets. Ianto was reminded of Cary Grant for some reason he couldn't quite get but he offered up a faint smile and gestured for Jack to come inside when he remembered his mouth was stuffed with cheesy toast.

Jack strode in like he owned the place and didn't wait to be shown to the lounge. Ianto closed the door and followed in his wake only to find Jack had sat down and nicked a piece of his tea from the plate he left on the couch. Shaking his head Ianto rescued his meal and took a place in the arm chair. Jack grinned at him rather lazily as he finished eating the stolen prize.

"I wanted to thank you."

Ianto swallowed his mouthful. "What for, sir?"

Jack got to his feet and paced the neat little lounge his very presence overwhelming the space.

"The funeral, it was perfect even the readings. How did you know?"

Ianto watched Jack's back. The coat was like a superheroes cape but he soon realised it was more a suit of armour for Jack to hide behind at times like these.

"I knew her work, but to be honest I just chose things that I liked and hoped they were appropriate. Would you like some coffee, sir?"

Jack swung round. "Ianto, this is your home, you can call me Jack you know."

Ianto got to his feet and held out his hands. "Then, can I take your coat Jack, unless you are planning on going that is."

Jack took off the mantel and draped it over Ianto's arm.

"Coffee would be fantastic, thank you."

He smiled 'that' smile and watched as Ianto left the room before turning his attention to having a nose around. It was typical of a pre war terraced house, small, with an old fireplace and bay window. There was little that was personal on display, aside from the cosy couch, an armchair and the usual collection of TV and sky box there was nothing to indicate who lived in the space. The furniture was well worn but tasteful and homely and in stark contrast to the lack of nik naks and family photos one might normally find. Jack sat down when he discovered nothing of interest to look at, he settled for asking questions instead, but Ianto beat him to it.

"I didn't see you at the funeral sir..... sorry Jack." Was called out from the kitchen. Jack decided he didn't want to yell across rooms so he got up and went to find the younger man. The kitchen was as neat and impersonal as the lounge.

"Oh, I was there. I just kept my distance. I didn't know the others who attended, apart from you, of course. I didn't want anyone questioning who I was. Did anyone ask you?"

Ianto was busy with mugs. "No. I think most of them were from her publisher, and a couple of girls that did speak to me were fans of her books."

Jack had never read them and he was wondering whether or not that was a good thing.

"Have you read them?"

The aroma of bitter coffee rose around the tiny room and Jack inhaled the wonderful smell deeply.

Ianto paused for a moment and smiled. "Yes, I studied faerie lore for one of my papers at university, it's quite major part of our literature and folklore. She had a rather eccentric style."

Jack smiled at that. "I'm not at all surprised."

A mug of black coffee was proffered and Jack took it.

"I hope it's ok, these are a new batch of beans that I am trying from Kenya, might not be strong enough for you."

Jack took a tentative sip and closed his eyes for a moment, savouring the taste.

"Wow, that's good."

Ianto appeared to be pleased with the response. "I was going to bring some into the Hub tomorrow. I've got new tea for Tosh as well."

They went and sat down in the lounge. Ianto curling up in his chair after turning off the weather forecast and Jack on the end of the sofa nearest to where Ianto was sitting.

"The other's will appreciate it you know, they love the good coffee."

"I'm amazed Owen can tell the difference, he's such a philistine."

Jack couldn't argue with that. They drank in silence for a while before Jack ventured to speak again.

"I'd like to ask you something, but it's personal and I don't want you going quiet on me."

Ianto met his look and slowly nodded. "Alright." He eventually responded somewhat apprehensively. He could guess what was coming.

"What was it to you? Why did you sleep with me?"

Ianto seriously considered a sarcastic reply, but the look on Jack's face convinced him otherwise so he opted for the truth instead and hoped it wouldn't get him into trouble.

"I did it to distract you."

"So it meant nothing."

Ianto shrugged and had to force himself not to look away from Jack intense gaze.

"I didn't say that. To be honest I felt sick with the guilt, I betrayed her as much as I betrayed you. It was never nothing Jack. I did what I had to do to protect Lisa, it worked to a point and when Gwen joined us you were distracted by her and I guess that helped me feel a little better about what I was doing. I'm not sorry I did it, but I am sorry if I hurt you, that was never my intention. I don't think I was really thinking beyond what I could do for Lisa." He waited for Jack's anger, but it never came.

"So if I asked you how you felt about it now?"

"I would ask how do you feel."

Jack chuckled. "You're a sly bastard Ianto Jones." Jack finished the coffee and put the empty mug at his feet. "I miss the company, you were always a good listener."

"I was?"

Jack nodded. "Amongst other things."

Ianto wasn't in the least bit surprised. "So is this where you ask me about resuming the sexual relationship?"

"That's up to you."

Ianto shook his head. "What happened to dates and romance Jack?"

"I'm only interested in sex, not an engagement."

"I don't think it's a good idea, aside from the fact that I am not gay."

Jack laughed at that. "You and your labels and I don't seem to remember you complaining about it before."

"There was nothing to complain about. If I'm honest with myself it really wasn't that bad."

"Ringing endorsement then.... well I've had worse.... actually no I haven't. Not fantastic or mind blowing then?" Jack was smiling, eyes sparkling with mischief.

All Ianto could do was blush and dip his chin a little.

"It's just not appropriate, we work together, you're my boss, it's difficult."

"It's just sex Ianto."

Ianto closed his eyes and sighed, "No, it isn't. Not to me. I used you Jack in one of the cruellest ways imaginable. Part of me hates you for killing the only person I have loved was ever going to love and more disgustingly part of me understands you and why you did it and I forgive you for what you did. I just...."

"Haven't forgiven yourself."

Their eyes met and Ianto's shoulders sagged. "Precisely. Can you understand that Jack?"

"Yes, better than you think. You need to let it go."

Ianto leaned back in his chair and drew his knees to his chest and Jack couldn't help but see just how young he really was.

"I ache with her loss. I can't decide what to do with myself when I am at home because she is no longer there for me to care for. I miss the worry, I miss her dependence on me, how sick is that?"

"I think you just miss her and there's nothing wrong with that."

A silence that felt vaguely uncomfortable settled between them.

"Why are you here Jack, I mean really?"

"I've been watching you work long hours, doing all those shit jobs around the Hub, I know you feel you have a lot to make up for, but you don't. We all failed Ianto, me more than the rest of you. There's nothing you have to do except try to live your life. We all forgave you the day it happened. We all understand why you did what you did and quite frankly more than a little embarrassed at your cleverness. You are resourceful and smart, that's the man I need at the Hub, not this quiet subservient creature creeping about trying to make amends. I want Ianto Jones back in the office tomorrow not Lisa's ghost of a boyfriend, am I clear?"

Ianto could feel his chest tighten and the hot tears build up in his eyes. He blinked them away and nodded slowly.

"Yes sir, quite clear."

Jack smiled and got to his feet. "Good, wear casuals tomorrow and bring some warm clothes and walking boots. We're going camping."

Ianto too got up and arched an eyebrow. "Camping? Is this some team building thing? Because if it is Owen will torture you."

Jack grinned cheekily. "Uhmmm that could be interesting, but no it's a field op out in the country.... missing persons case."

Ianto vaguely recalled the details of a police report Gwen had mentioned that morning.

"In Brecon?"

"Beautiful Welsh hills and fresh air!" Jack enthused.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir."


	8. Chapter 8

**PART EIGHT**

Owen complained. The moment Jack had mentioned the fact that the entire team was going on a field trip he started up. The first gripe was to be expected.

"It's your bloody driving Jack, anyone would think the back of the SUV was on fire the way you drive. You're the only one of us who gets speeding tickets! And there's not enough bloody room for all of us, where's Tea Boy gonna sit? On the roof rack? Or do you plan on stuffing him in the boot?"

Jack made a point of not mentioning the tents that he had stowed in the back with their equipment.

Tosh and Gwen did the sensible thing of going over the case notes and Ianto, rather pressed for space being wedged in between his two female colleagues, said nothing, did nothing and watched the beautiful countryside slide by them until he spotted a snack van up ahead in the layby.

"Maybe we should stop for some lunch?" He was desperate to get out of the vehicle and stretch his legs as well as needing a pee. Unfortunately there were no bushes to go behind or portaloos to be had so Ianto ordered food instead from the cheerful chap in the caravan snack van, whilst the others studied the map spread out on the bonnet of the SUV.

Tosh's comments about burgers from the roadside put everybody off their lunch and they set off again, now listening to Owen complain about tents and budget cuts and why the fuck couldn't they stay in a Hotel! Ianto wondered if Owen had been a spoilt only child in a previous life and decided he most definitely had.

Once Jack had decided on a 'nice' spot for a bit of camping, Ianto and Tosh contented themselves with erecting a tent in quiet efficiency. It didn't take them long to get their's up and they both watched as Jack somehow managed to avoid doing any work at all and Owen's whining increased in pitch.

Sometime later and Jack was half perched on the front passenger seat of the SUV and the rest of the team were sat on camp beds and camp benches. Gwen started up some stupid kissing quiz and Ianto sat there frozen with dismay. He wasn't ready for this. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about the fact that the woman he loved was dead and forgotten at the hands of the man who had literally given him the kiss of life. So Ianto did the only thing he knew how, spoilt the fun and made everyone feel uncomfortable. Gwen and Owen took off to find fire wood and Tosh disappeared into the main tent to set up her gear.

Ianto sat there pulling apart a blade of grass and he visibly tensed when Jack came and sat beside him.

"Why did you do that?" He asked.

Ianto stared at his hands. "Push them away or lie?"

Jack shrugged. "Either, both... Come on Ianto we've talked about this."

"No Jack we haven't. You DID kiss me that day and I was dead. I know I was and you brought me back."

"Yes, I did."

"Gwen just doesn't get it, for the human heart of this little group she can be one insensitive cow."

Jack sighed. "She didn't mean any harm. You've got to stop taking things so personally."

"Why did you save me?"

Ianto didn't find out. Owen and Gwen had found a body.... well what was left of one and Ianto was eternally grateful that he didn't get a decent look. Things spiralled downhill somewhat dramatically after that.

The journey back was.... well interrupted.

Ianto sat clutching at his aching body and mumbled something about stopping, he threw up all over the back of the drivers seat and Jack's head. It was quite spectacular really and Owen found himself ducking for cover as Jack yelled out expletives and swerved into the verge at the side of the road. Ianto tumbled out of the vehicle and threw up some more, bawling in agony as he did so. Tosh, in spite of her pain and misery actually laughed as she sat at Ianto's side and rubbed his back gently. Owen was glad Gwen was headed home in an ambulance as he ran to Ianto's side with his medical kit. Jack, still cursing was washing vomit out of his hair with a bottle of water before tackling the foul smelling mess in the SUV.

Ianto sat on the damp grass, shivering and miserable and Owen opted for a large dose of stemitil and morphine. An hour later they were back on the road with the windows down and Tosh and Ianto tightly snuggled into sleeping bags on the back seat.

Owen was angry, shocked and too stunned for his normal tirade of complaints and Jack drove, dog tired, stealing glances at his colleagues on the back seat through the rear view mirror.

When they eventually got back to the Hub Owen checked Tosh over and gave her the all clear. Jack took her home and then came back. By the time he had returned Ianto was perched on the exam couch in a pair of surgical trousers because he had refused Owen permission to check him over until he had showered. Neither Owen or Jack had seen such spectacular bruising, but miraculously that was all it was.

Tosh would never look at a fridge the same way ever again.

When Ianto got home the first thing he did was put all his kitchen knives in the bin with Jack watching on in confusion. Ianto explained about the cleaver. Finally Jack managed to convince Ianto to go to bed and once he was certain that the young man was asleep he went back to the Hub to mull over what had to have been the most disasterous field op on record.

Owen went to the hospital to check on Gwen only to discover she had been discharged and was waiting for a cab to take her home.

Gwen Cooper rolled somewhat cautiously out of Owen's bed and sighed. She couldn't decide whether she was disappointed with herself or Owen. It wasn't in her nature to cheat, she'd never done it before and she had always assumed that Rhys was 'the love of her life', but Torchwood had challenged her life on every level. She had been forced to re-evaluate everything that she thought she knew and believed in. Rhys would never understand not only because he wasn't allowed but because he just wouldn't. He was such a normal, ordinary bloke and nothing about Torchwood was either normal or ordinary. It was like living in a fairytale of heroes and bad guys with the handsome Captain Jack...... so why the hell was she sleeping with Owen? Why hadn't she leapt into Jack's bed? Owen said he was gay, but by God Jack could flirt, DID flirt with everything! It's not as if Owen was especially something good to look at, Ianto would've been more her choice. Mind you she'd thought he was gay and it turned out he wasn't. Nothing in Torchwood was as it seemed. She loved it, she lived it and she realised that now she would never be able to walk away from it. The terror was just as thrilling as the successes and being around Jack empowered her in ways she never thought possible. Rhys was just something in the background these days and part of her wondered what on Earth she was still doing with him. Then Jack's words came back to her.

"Don't let it drift!"

Too late, she already had.

Ianto discovered that he couldn't roll out of bed the following morning. He was so sore and stiff that absolutely any kind of moving was met with howls of protest and tears. He was glad no one was there to witness his rather girly reaction to the situation and then he wondered how he had gotten home last night. He gingerly lifted the covers to discover himself naked as the day he was born and a bright flush burned at his cheeks. He decided not to get up and promptly went back to sleep.

Having gotten Ianto off to sleep Jack drove back to the Hub and shut himself in his office until Myfanwy's noisy demands to be fed could no longer be ignored. Unless you were Ianto, you put your life in your hands when feeding her so he opted for throwing fish in the air and hoping she'd catch them instead of snatching them out of his hands. He contented himself with the rather enjoyable delights of watching her swoop about with her salmon prizes. He didn't want to think about the monumental fuck up that the trip to the Brecons had been. None of his vaunted aims about team bonding had been achieved and he had no doubt that they'd all be having nightmares about Cannibals for months to come. Humans! Jack would never understand them and he wondered why his Doctor was so fond of them. He wondered where the hell his Doctor was, he'd already missed him at Canary Wharf. And then some sickeningly morbid part of him began to wonder if he could survive being eaten. He'd once re-grown a leg in the 2nd world war after stepping on a land mine. He recalled the pain of that with nauseating clarity and reached for the decanter of scotch that lived behind his desk.

Tosh had risen from her bed early and spent quite some time inspecting the bruising around her neck. She was sore and achey, but otherwise not too bad. Let's face it she'd been in worse situations and as she showered she found herself wondering how Ianto was holding up. That had been his first proper field assignment, baptism of fire really. She'd already decided to go into work as she really didn't feel like sitting at home brooding over what had happened.


	9. Chapter 9

**PART NINE**

Ianto rolled into work four days after the whole embarrassing episode with the Cannibals. If he were honest with himself he felt too ashamed to show his face as he recalled with far too much clarity just how badly he had handled the whole situation. He had easily been disarmed, he panicked after seeing the shoes and that fridge and then he'd failed to escape and not given Tosh enough time to get away properly. The poor woman would never want to work with him again. There was also the matter of projectile vomiting over Jack's head and half the interior of the SUV. He wondered if it had been cleaned out properly yet.

Ianto entered through the tourism office as normal, his movements still stiff and cautious from the painful bruising that had gone from yellow to black over the last couple of days. He looked like a train wreck in the mirror and had attracted quite a few stares from passers-by in the street that morning. Still, at least he wasn't as ugly as Owen, there was that much to be thankful for. Did he really just think that? On arriving in the Hub proper Ianto discovered Jack trying to manhandle 'his' coffee machine.

"Sir! What are doing?" It was out of his mouth before he engaged his brain. It was that kind of morning.

Jack jumped back with a sheepish expression on his face that quickly turned into a frown.

"I told you to take the rest of the week off!"

Ianto had no recollection of that. "You did?"

Jack shook his head, exasperated. "Coffee? Please?"

"Of course sir. The machine is still working isn't it?"

"I think so."

Twenty minutes later and Ianto discovered that it hadn't suffered too badly in his absence so he took Jack's normal morning brew up to his office, determined to have words with his boss. He was somewhat dismayed to find a disarray of paperwork spread all over Jack's desk when he brought in the coffee to his office. Jack was grinning way too cheeselly at him when handed the blue and white stripey mug. Jack gestured for Ianto sit and Ianto had to move another pile of paperwork from the chair before he did so.

"So, er... how are you feeling?"

Ianto was eyeing the mess as he replied. "Thinking perhaps I should've taken the rest of the week off? What's with the mess sir? I take I am going to have to re-file all this at some point?"

Jack grinned somewhat sharklike and Ianto was not comforted by this in the slightest.

"I'll help you."

"No you won't, sir."

"Anyway, how are you?"

Ianto met his gaze and saw genuine concern there in those bright eyes.

"I'm fine sir, just a bit tenderised." He replied hitching a faint upcurve of his lips.

"So."

"Yes. Sir may I speak freely?"

Jack nodded. "Always Ianto."

He noted that Ianto did not look convinced as a slight furrow settled on his brow.

"Seriously Ianto, say whatever it is, please."

Ianto clasped his hands in his lap. "Brynnbliadd sir, it was a bit of a disaster really, wasn't it."

"It could have been worse."

Ianto shook his head. "I was useless out there, I got caught, failed to rescue Tosh or find the SUV and well, I was woefully unprepared for what happened. No disrespect sir but I had no business being out in the field when other people are required to rely on me to protect them or help them."

Jack sipped at his coffee not taking his eyes of Ianto's face. "What do you think should be done about it?"

Ianto shifted his back side in the seat. "Either keep me in the office or train me properly so that the others can trust me to at least do my job right. I was of no use to Tosh whatsoever out there."

"That isn't what she tells me."

Ianto baulked. "It isn't?"

"Quite the reverse, she tells me that you reigned in your fears and tried to find a way out, she then went to add that you head butted that guy and gave her the chance to break for freedom. That in itself bought me some time and Tosh for that matter and it probably saved your life."

Ianto clearly hadn't thought of it like that.

"I was scared Jack."

Jack couldn't fail to notice the use of his name. "I know, you had good reason to be. Do you want to go out in the field again?"

"I have a choice?"

Jack nodded.

Ianto chewed at his lower lip for a moment. "What I want is for the others to be able to rely on me out there. Sometimes I may have to go out on assignments when things are busy or the rest of you need a break, but I need proper training. Every time we've been out to hunt the weevils you've always been there to watch my back and guide me. You may not always be around. If the others know I can handle myself out there, they will trust me."

Jack was internally delighted but nothing of it showed on his face. "Good, then we'll start just as soon as Owen declares you fit."

Ianto swallowed. "We, sir?"

Jack nodded. "Yes, I've trained everyone here. Is there a problem with that?"

Ianto knew all about Jack's training methods.

"Can't you send me to UNIT or something?"

Jack shook his head. "You'll be working with me and then with the rest of the team so that you all get to know one another much better, it's more efficient."

Ianto nodded. "Of course, sir." A feeling of impending dread settling into his gut as he forced a smile on his pale face.

"Was there anything else?"

Jack shifted some of the papers on his desk so he could put his empty mug down.

"Yes sir. A question I asked you before, but you didn't get the chance to answer." Ianto was sure that this wasn't the right time to be asking.

"Go on."

"Lisa killed me, you brought me back. God knows how, but I know it was you... unless of course you're in to kissing corpses... don't want to go there if you are. So, why did you bring me back?"

Jack leant back in his seat trying to compose an honest answer that wouldn't give too much of his feelings away.

"Because I could, I wasn't ready to see you go, because I need you here, Torchwood needs you.... What do you want me to say?"

Ianto searched his eyes and got nothing. "The truth, sir."

"You have great potential Ianto. I'd be an idiot not to see that. What you did took enormous courage and guile. It was completely wrong, but for all the right reasons. It would've been a waste to let you go."

Ianto sighed. "That's it?"

Jack shrugged. "Pretty much. Why, you wish I hadn't?"

"Sometimes." Ianto finally admitted.

Three days later and Owen decided that Tea Boy was fit for combat training. Ianto sincerely wished he hadn't, especially after being thrown on to the floor for the fourth time in a row, by Toshiko, who stood there, hands on hips grinning her head off. Ianto spent that day thinking up all kinds of revenge on Owen. To be fair he was absolutely amazed that Tosh, dear sweet little Tosh could throw him at all and suddenly he found a whole new world of respect for the woman as she held out a hand to help him to his feet, again. Jack just stood to the side with his arms folded across his chest.

"Ianto you have to try harder. I know Tosh is a girl and you've got all these polite sensibilities to deal with, but you have to stop holding back."

Ianto sighed and straightened himself out. Would now be a good time to tell Jack that he wasn't holding out?

"Come on Ianto, punch me!" Tosh deftly hopped from one foot to the other, darting about just out of hitting range. Now he was just annoyed so he swung his fist. Tosh caught it, swiftly twisted his arm and flung him over on to his back. The wind was knocked straight out of his lungs and Ianto could have sworn he saw stars. He could hear Jack chuckling and then he saw red and leapt back up to his feet, ready to try again but Jack stepped forwards.

"Here, let me demonstrate."

Thoroughly annoyed Ianto lunged, rugby tackling his boss and sending him toppling down onto the mat. Tosh was giggling and so Ianto swung round leaping to his feet he grabbed at her leg and flung her over. Tosh landed with an 'oomph' on her stomach. Ianto stood up and brushed himself down. Jack snatched at his ankle and sent him pitching backwards so he landed on his arse beside Tosh. Catching his breath Ianto sat there as Tosh righted herself the grin still on her face.

"You see, you got it."

Ianto smiled at her.

The alarms clamoured into life.

Ianto had the coffee ready and waiting when his four colleagues got back to the Hub some 9 hours later. They were laughing and joking as they stepped through the cog door and Owen and Gwen were clearly in the middle of some heated, if somewhat excitable debate. The world had been saved again and Ianto completely understood why when he retrieved the containment cases from the back of the SUV. The two clear plastic cases held a collection of small brightly coloured furry animals that made mouse like squeaking noises as Ianto carried them in to Hub from the garage. Gwen and Owen were leaving and Tosh was just shutting down her terminal as he placed the cases on the couch. Ianto perched himself on the coffee table and watched the little creatures roll about the bottom of the two cages, there were no appendages to speak of but there were clearly a pair of glistening black eyes on each and what could have been ears. The fur was too long to tell. Ianto thought they were rather odd especially being bright orange and pink. Tosh pulled on her coat and came over and sat beside him.

"Aren't they cute?"

Ianto nodded still watching.

"They were fast though, a bugger to catch." Jack's voice came from over his shoulder.

"Do we have any idea what they are?"

Jack shrugged. "Owen said they were called tribbles, but I couldn't find the reference on the database." He answered absolutely seriously. Ianto glanced at Tosh's suppressed snigger and mouthed.

"He didn't, did he?"

Tosh nodded. Ianto covered his mouth with his hand but didn't quite succeed in stifling his laughter.

Jack was at his side looking down on him and Tosh.

"What's so funny?"

Tosh got up and patted Ianto's shoulder. "I'll leave you to it Ianto. Night Jack." She called as she left through the roller door.

"Night Tosh." Jack took her vacated seat. "You're laughing at me?"

Ianto met his pouty look with a crooked smile. "Owen was lying to you, though I have to say they do look like tribbles."

Jack was frowning now. "Ok, so I've obviously missed the joke, now put me out of my misery."

"Tribbles are on 'Star Trek', they eat anything and breed like rabbits."

Jack's face lit up and he looked into the cages. "How I mean they've got no....."

Ianto slapped his hand to his forehead and shook his head. "Never mind. The question is, what shall I do with them?"

Jack had no idea, he'd never seen anything like them before. "They are kinda cute in a fluffy bunny tail sort of way."

Ianto sat there enthralled by the wonderment in Jack's face.

"Just when you think you've seen everything." Jack added turning and grinning at Ianto. "I guess we put them in a cell. I wonder what they eat."

Ianto glanced back at the furry balls. "Trial and error." He replied.

"Trial and error?"

Ianto nodded. "It's quite scientific really, they try it and if they die I know I've made a mistake."

Jack frowned at him. "That isn't scientific at all."

"Well they can't exactly speak, can they? I mean maybe if one of them wants Vindaloo mutton and the other Tikka Masala, perhaps I should show them the take out menu." Ianto sounded rather too serious and Jack sat there gaping at the younger man.

"You are a very sick man Ianto Jones."

"Well I least I don't look like something the cat threw up." He turned back to the creatures. "I'll run one of them through the scanners and see if that helps determine what they might like to eat. They obviously aren't suffering from our atmosphere, unless pink is the colour they go when they're about to suffocate."

Jack rose to his feet, thought the better of it and sat back down again, resting his hands on his knees.

"How did you feel about the training this morning?"

Ianto tapped the cage. "I don't like hitting Tosh..... Not that I actually managed to hit her, now that I think about it."

"You mustn't be afraid, trust me she won't take it personally. If you had to shoot a woman or maybe even a child Ianto, you can't hesitate. Sometimes it's the only way and you need to be prepared for that."

"Have you Jack? Have you killed a child?"

Jack sighed and looked straight at him. "You really don't want me to answer that."

Ianto shuddered at the deadness there but held his gaze remembering Jasmine. "Is it worth it Jack? Was it worth it?"

"Yes, every time." There was no hesitation. "When you have to choose between the many and the one, there's never any question. Torchwood One lost sight of all that, believed that they could control anything that came at them. It's why I took down Lisa. It's about numbers Ianto, that's the bottom line."

Ianto's breath locked in his chest for a moment because he could hear the regret in Jack's voice.

"Does it get any easier?"

Jack shook his head. "The day I stop feeling, the day I cease to care about the numbers, about the sacrifices, that's the day that I will walk away from all this. If it hurts then I am reminded that I am still human."

Ianto did not understand. "Of course you're human sir."

Jack shook his head and looked away. "Sometimes it's not enough Ianto."

"But it's all we have."

To Ianto's surprise Jack reached and took his hand, squeezing it hard so that it hurt, but Ianto did not protest.

"Don't ever forget it, Ianto. Not ever, do you hear me?"

Ianto looked down at their linked hands. "Only if you don't."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I count myself fortunate that I know nothing about firearms and the only one I ever used was for shooting possums, if you've met a possum you'll know why, if you haven't be grateful.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my brother because he knows what the frontline is really like and has thankfully come home to us everytime. It is also dedicated to the troops that fight our battles and keep us safe when they are so far away from home. I am very proud of the service men and women who choose to defend us, because sometimes the choices they have to make are ones I know I couldn't. I live in the hope that one day maybe they may not need to be put in that position because we've all learnt to live with one another peacefully.**

**PART TEN**

Ianto had always been nervous around firearms. He never understood how anyone could be comfortable with carrying a tool that was used to kill, simple as that. A gun served no other purpose. His weapons training at Canary Wharf had amounted to one day on the firing range with the Torchwood issue hand gun. However he had spent considerably longer on the range practicing how to use it. His theory being that if he ended up having to shoot someone, he'd rather shoot them through the head so that they didn't suffer. He became very proficient. So when Jack summoned him down to the firing range for the first session of weapons training Ianto was reasonably confident that he wouldn't make as much of an arse of himself as he had with hand-hand combat. Jack had set out an array of weapons on the table and handed Ianto goggles and ear defenders with a grin.

"Not that you'll have those out in the field, I just wanted to see what you looked like in them."

Ianto did his, by now, famous eye roll.

Jack went through each of the weapons, demonstrating handling procedures, loading, unloading and firing into the targets some 150m away and never missing, Ianto noted. Amazingly Jack didn't flirt or offer up any innuendo and once he was done he stepped back and smiled at his archivist.

"Pick one and show me what you can do."

Ianto did just that, picking out a handgun and slapping the clip into place in one well practiced motion. He positioned himself, took aim and fired off half a dozen shots, all of them hit their mark, each of the six 'weevil' targets sporting a head shot between the eyes. Ianto clicked on the safety unloaded the weapon and placed it back on the table. Jack had to admit he was impressed.

"Ever done that outside of the range?"

Ianto removed his goggles and ear muffs. "No, sir. The only time I've had to shoot at something was when Canary Wharf.... well the Cybermen, sir and the bullets just bounced right off them. I've never killed anything or anyone, directly that is." He replied thinking of Annie and Dr Tanizaki and swallowing down his guilt before it showed through his schooled features.

"Is that your usual weapon of choice?"

"It's the same as the one I was issued with at Canary Wharf and here, it's the only one I've used before."

Jack nodded. "Ok, we'll continue with that one for now. Come this way and bring your gun."

Jack led him through the range to an adjoining tunnel. He stopped at the door way and turned and faced the younger man.

"This area has moving targets, they'll appear and disappear at random throughout the space. Red targets are hostiles and green targets are not." He gestured. "I want you to move through the range and take out all of the red targets. I shall be watching from over there." He pointed towards a bullet proof screen. "Take your time and make use of the cover because some of them will fire back at you."

Jack stepped back and grabbed a flak jacket and helmet. "Put these on the paint balls sting like a bitch when they hit you."

Jack held Ianto's gun whilst Ianto fastened on the gear feeling faintly ridiculous.

"I'm not going to have this kind of gear on out in the field am I?"

"Not normally, but sometimes. Trust me the first couple of times through this you WILL get hit, I'm just being nice."

Ianto wondered if it was more about the fact that the snug jacket made his arse stick out. He sighed slightly nervous as he took his gun back from Jack and checked that the clip was loaded properly. Jack winked at him and with a smile he turned and walked to the cover of the observation shelter.

Owen slapped a twenty pound note down on Tosh's desk next to her keyboard.

"Twenty says Ianto gets hit by the roving targets 4 times or more!"

The rest of the team had been watching Ianto's weapon's session on the CCTV.

Tosh grinned and leaned down to get her hand bag from between her feet she rummaged in her purse and pulled out two ten pound notes.

"Twenty says he doesn't get hit at all."

Gwen, not one to miss out pulled money from her own purse. "Ok, I'll say between 1 and 3 hits then!"

The £60 sat there and Owen was convinced it was his. They turned their attention to the screen. Of course they should have been working really, but no one was too fussed.

Jack watched through the glass screen and via the overhead CCTV as Ianto made his way cautiously through the course. The young man shot out all of the correct targets, even the ones that moved, he almost killed a friendly but the shot went wide. It took the man over an hour and Jack was pleased to see that he moved with determined grace, measuring every step with innate skill. One paintball got him in the left thigh, very early on and left him wincing and rubbing at his leg, but otherwise Ianto got through it unscathed. He'd done better than anyone else on the team on their first run. Jack had to privately admit that it was one hell of a turn on and that once again Ianto Jones had surprised him.

Ianto was breathless and shaky by the time he yanked at the Velcro securing his flak jacket, his shirt underneath was stuck to his sweaty skin and he winced with distaste at the dampness of the silk fabric. He pulled off the Helmet and was surprised to see Jack grinning at him when wander over to take the combat gear and gun from him.

"Go get a shower, then meet me in my office."

Ianto nodded and left, favouring his right leg, Jack was right about the paintballs.

Gwen was bouncing around with glee waving her winnings in the air and Tosh sat back in her chair with a smug smile on her face. Owen hadn't been able to believe his eyes.

"Who'd have thought it. Are we sure he just a junior researcher in London?"

Tosh nodded, she checked his records very thoroughly after the Lisa thing.

"What Owen, embarrassed that he beat your score?"

"He beat mine as well." Jack's voice came up from the stair well that lead to the vaults. He strode into the hub, with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, he was grinning.

"Ok, so who won the bet?"

Gwen held up her cash.

"Good, drinks are on you tonight then!"

Ianto had changed into a fresh shirt and suit and realised rather dismally that he'd need to go to the drycleaners for the third time in as many days. Gwen had actually asked the previous day about why he dressed so smartly and he had caustically replied that one scruffy git on the team was more than enough. He hoped that Gwen would realise he was talking about Owen and not Jack, Jack was not scruffy, just.... gay... it was the only word Ianto could think of and was rather disturbed by the fact that he found the period military dress rather sexy. He had made a mental note never to tell Jack that. The fresh suit was a new one, recently made by his favourite tailor in London, a little Italian man his Tad had been friends with before Ianto had been born. The fabric was a light weight wool/ silk blend of dark charcoal and black. It fitted perfectly of course and Ianto had gone with a white shirt and his favourite dark red tie. Once his hair was suitably tamed he strode from the locker rooms, dreading what Jack's assessment of his performance on the firing range would be.

The moment Ianto stepped into the Hub proper he was greeted by Tosh, who gave him a mug of tea and demur smile.

"Well done." She pecked his cheek and Ianto nearly fainted from the shock as she resumed her seat at her terminal. Owen and Gwen were nowhere to be seen and Ianto assumed that they had decided to do lunch together, again.

He went straight to Jack's office and tapped the door before entering. Jack looked up from the form he was filling out and greeted Ianto with that slightly cheesy glint in his eyes as he gestured for Ianto to sit down. Jack drank in the sight of the younger man standing in the cutest suit he had yet seen adorn the Welshman's body.

"Take a seat."

Ianto did so a feeling of Deja Vue washing over him or perhaps the suspicion that Jack was mentally undressing him.

"So, how did I do, sir?"

Jack leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk. He picked up a pen fiddled with it for a moment and then placed it back down.

Ianto wanted to squirm but he sat, impassive and expressionless as always.

"You handled it very well. You bested all of us on the scores, but you almost took out a friendly target, I'm guessing you must have realised because the shot went wide."

Ianto nodded. "It changed colour. It started out as red in the same way that some of them started out as green. You didn't warm me about that." It was an observation not a criticism.

"And you still bested everyone's scores. What you need to work on is your confidence. That took you over 70 minutes, with that score rating, next time I want it to take you 20. Get in a couple of practice runs this week and I'll test you again in 7 days."

Ianto failed to hide his surprise. "That's it?"

Jack smiled at him. "You were too cautious.... out there in the real world these things happen in an instant with little to no think time. We need to get you to that point as soon as possible. You did well Ianto, but you still have a long way to go. How do you feel?"

Ianto had to think about that. "Tired. I do not like the idea of having to kill anything Jack."

Jack frowned, his named had been used again and Jack realised that this was a personal statement not a professional one. He hitched 'that' smile. "I'm glad to hear it. My concern is that you have no hesitation in defending yourself or your team mates and I seem to recall you saying the exact same thing to me."

"Yes, sir. I won't let you down."

"I know that Ianto." And Jack wondered what had prompted that response. "Now for fear of sounding like a........"

"Coffee, sir?" Ianto rose to his feet as Jack offered up a plaintive pout which made him smile faintly in return.

"Yes, please."


	11. Chapter 11

**FOR SOLSBURY GIRL........ AND IANTO.**

**PART ELEVEN**

Jack straightened himself up and sighed heavily. He was annoyed with himself, more than a little sore and realised he would have to piss someone off to get a ride back to the Hub with the unconscious weevil. It was a rather sad fact of his life that he actually habitually carried the Alien zapping sedative with him at all times. But quite frankly it had saved him from yet another death in some dirty, smelly alley in the arse end of Splott. What was it with weevils and Splott? All Jack had wanted was a quiet drink in the pub, pick up a half decent lay and spend the rest of the night shagging said decent lay until they or he saw stars. No such bloody luck. Anyone would think he was a weevil magnet. Maybe it was the pheromones. Jack sincerely hoped it wasn't as he pulled his mobile out of his pocket and noted the time, 01:30 hours. Shit, he didn't really want to call upon any of his team having given them all the night off. It had been an odd day and they all looked as though they needed the break. Tosh had been distracted, fingering some new trinket at her neck and Jack half wondered if she'd finally gotten over Owen and found a date. Owen and Gwen had been practically undressing one another at every opportunity and the CCTV footage of them bonking in Owen's car had been mildly amusing. Ianto had just been quiet and worked the day through with his head down and looking miserable as sin, Jack of course had checked dates and discovered it was a year ago that Canary Wharf had fallen.

Jack stared at his phone and finally decided on calling Ianto. He was the one most likely to still be at the Hub anyway.....

Ianto had watched Toshiko with mild concern all day. It was obvious to everyone how she felt about Owen and Gwen bloody Cooper Miss yoyo knickers and Dr Owen 'fuckme' Harper hadn't really been that subtle. Somehow Ianto wasn't surprised to see Gwen fall at the first hurdle, he was surprised that the first hurdle hadn't been Jack. He was glad that it hadn't, he could imagine how that would end. Tosh had left for home at 6pm, rather early for her and she had snuck away quietly whilst he was filing that days paperwork so he hadn't had the chance to check to make sure she was alright. He thought about ringing her and decided against it. He liked Tosh, but they weren't exactly close and he didn't want to impose. She probably had a date or something if the new necklace was anything to go by. It was now very early in the morning and Ianto had finally finished up for the day. He took a moment to have a peek at the artefact on the scanner table, because he was curious as to what it was, then he donned his coat and began to shut down the Hub for the night.

He didn't really want to go home at all and had dragged out his duties for as long as possible, but now there was nothing else for him to do and if he were honest with himself he really did need the sleep. He knew that he wouldn't sleep without the aid of copious amounts of scotch and a couple of well placed valium anyway, not tonight.

His mobile rang and Ianto pulled it out of his coat pocket.

"Ianto Jones speaking."

"_Hey, Ianto. You still at the Hub?"_

Ianto nodded, stupid really when he was on the phone. "Yes, sir. Is there a problem?" He was grateful for any kind of distraction.

"_Yeah, ran into a weevil. I'm in an alleyway that runs parallel to Tallapus Street, can you bring the SUV?"_

Once again Ianto nodded and then shook his head. "Yes sir. I'll be right there, should I bring more sedative?"

"_Yeah, that might be a good idea."_

Jack hung up with a grin.

Twenty minutes later and twin beams of the SUV headlamps turned into the alley way. The black car pulled to a gentle stop and Ianto Jones stepped out of the vehicle. Jack smiled warmly at the younger man.

"My hero."

Ianto approached silhouetted against the headlamps. He was shaking his head with mild amusement.

"Well, I've never been called that before, sir." He passed Jack a set of cuffs and a black canvas bag. "I'll go and open the boot."

Jack smiled again and went back to the still dozing weevil he had sedated earlier. After cuffing and bagging it the dozing creature was easily lifted and shoulder carried round to the back of the SUV. Ianto helped him carefully manoeuvre it into the cage and closed down the boot, shutting it in. Jack caught a glance of Ianto's face, the light from the streetlamp highlighting his furrowed brow and slightly parted lips as he sucked in a breath of cool night air. He could see the dignified sadness in Ianto's eyes and was instantly grateful he had prevented the young man from going home alone that night, even if it was a little belated. Ianto was about to turn away when Jack reached out a hand and gently grasped Ianto's head he pulled him into a brief kiss, tugging lightly at his lower lip with his teeth as he pulled back. Ianto gaped at him, like the proverbial deer and Jack half wondered if Ianto was about to punch him. Instead Ianto kissed him back with some force and shoved him against the back of the vehicle, moving with him. Really not able to believe his luck Jack's hands went straight around Ianto's body and they stood there snogging each other breathless, hands pulling eagerly to remove coats and......

Ianto stopped and stepped back hurriedly getting out of arms reach.

"Sorry, Jack.... sorry."

Jack straightened out his coat and cautiously took a step forward. "Sorry for what?"

Ianto looked totally distraught. "I just.... I'm sorry. I don't want to you to think that I'm..... I don't want to use you again. This is not the best time to be doing this. I'm sorry." He stomped off and Jack sighed as he heard the car door open then slam shut a moment later. The engine started up and turned over and collecting his thoughts Jack ran round to the front passenger seat and got in. Ianto drove them back in the direction of the Hub in stubborn silence and unable to look at Jack.

"Ianto?"

"Yes sir?"

The car halted at a set of traffic lights.

"It's Jack, come on, talk to me, please."

"There's nothing to say. I shouldn't have."

Jack risked resting his hand on Ianto's thigh as he drove forwards with the changing lights.

"Ianto, it's ok. It's not like I don't want you to."

Ianto looked steadfastly ahead. "It's not ok Jack, really it's not. Over 1200 of my colleagues and all of my friends died a year ago today and no one mentions them, there wasn't even anything on the news, no service, no nothing. They've just been swept under the carpet we're all happy to tread on. It's like they never existed Jack. People that I loved, people I'd made coffee for and teamed up with to play basketball on Sundays." He wiped angrily at the tears on his pale face and finally decided to pull over before he caused an accident. He turned off the ignition and leaned heavily onto the steering wheel.

"All I can think about..... all I can bloody think about is how alone I am, how none of this really matters anymore. I wonder why the hell I am alive and what the fuck am I any good for, I couldn't even save one of them."

Jack shifted his hand to the back of Ianto's warm neck and gently rubbed circles into his soft hair with the tips of his fingers.

"I should be dead Jack!"

Jack sighed and unclipping his seatbelt and then Ianto's he carefully pulled the younger man into tight hug.

"I'm glad you're not."

Ianto did not yield to the embrace at first, remaining almost rigid against the warmth of Jack's chest, but something eventually gave and Jack could feel the great heaving sob that had sat in Ianto's gut for months. The younger man finally let it go and Jack sincerely hoped he'd never hear it again as he held on as tightly as he could. There were no words adequate to the task of comforting him so Jack contented himself with humming a tune by Glen Miller, as much to calm himself as Ianto.

Jack wondered how often he was going to be betrayed. Somehow he couldn't hold it against Toshiko in the slightest. Her loneliness had forced her to cling on to some vague hope, the slightest interest taken in her and now she was just that little bit more damaged than she had been before. The team were finally beginning to gel with one another and once again the seams had come apart. Owen was livid and spiteful in the fallout, Gwen was quiet perhaps because it had forced her to look at her own life and Ianto..... Well he had crawled neatly back into his shell, though to be fair he had been the only one to comfort his colleague. Jack hadn't been sure what to do other than offering Tosh a choice, she had made the right one, crushing the power of telepathy under her boot. He knew how hard that would have been not as a woman who was hurting, but as a scientist who was constantly thirsty for knowledge. Jack made the decision that day to allow Tosh access to her mother's phone number. UNIT be damned, Tosh was so alone right now and it was the only thing he could think of that would really help her. Ianto regularly conversed with her in Japanese to keep in practice, but his Welsh accent shone through every word. It made Tosh laugh, but it wasn't the same as talking to someone who 'knew' the nuances of her native tongue, someone who knew her. Jack understood that better than most, he'd been trying to teach Ianto phrases in Galactic Standard over the past few weeks. The young man was a quick study, but lacked the accent. Welsh voices were really only meant to be heard in Welsh. He thought back to three nights ago when Ianto had proved that point very well, Jack got hard just thinking about it.......

His reverie was interrupted by Ianto entering his office.

"You've a call from DI Swanson, sir."

Jack picked up his phone and smiled at his archivist fondly. "Coffee?"

Ianto nodded and left the office as Jack took the call.


	12. Chapter 12

**PART TWELVE**

Ianto did his level best not to come into contact with Suzie, the very thought of her being risen from the dead was repugnant. That evil scheming, murdering bitch certainly did not deserve a second chance at life. He had wondered somewhat guiltily if he should reveal that he knew what the glove was doing to Gwen, but they'd figured it out for themselves quickly enough so he remained silent. The lockdown had lead to all kinds of issues with getting everything unlocked and operational again and naturally all of that work fell to Tosh and Ianto, whilst Jack and Owen did the brave, heroic rescue thing. Tosh had bemoaned Gwen's sheer stupidity and Ianto was in no mood to disagree with her. However as usual he kept his opinions to himself and just did as he was asked. Right now he was pondering the paperwork, Suzie's cause of death and where the second half of the pair of gloves was likely to be. Perhaps he'd look into it and then lock it away in the deepest darkest corner of the archive where no one would ever find it.

Tosh was just plain annoyed that Gwen once again had monopolised Owen's protective attention.

Ianto placed his stop watch on Jack's desk.

"9 minutes and 15 seconds, sir."

If Jack was hurting, he was hiding it well as he leant forwards, elbows on his desk.

"So Mr Jones."

"Captain." Ianto closed the office door and sat down in the chair in front of Jack's, messy desk, he noted with a flicker of disdain. "Care to play a little game?"

Jack's eyes lit up and a wicked grin spread across his face.

Ianto nodded. "That's a yes then."

Jack nodded the grin deepening.

"Alright. There s few rules though....."

"Rules are made for breaking though, right?"

Ianto inclined his head.

"It's quite simple really. I will tell you something about myself, you must decide whether or not I am telling the truth, if you guess correctly I will forfeit an item of clothing, if you guess incorrectly you will forfeit two items."

Jack remembered this game, they had played it before with money and Ianto had won almost three hundred pounds from him. Jack leapt to his feet.

"I'll get the lie detector then."

"There's more Jack."

"There is?"

Ianto smiled this time. "You have to tell me things too" After all fair is fair.

Jack puffed up his chest. "You're on... what happens when you run out of clothes?"

Ianto quirked an eyebrow but didn't answer.

Ten minutes later they were sat in the boardroom, detector on stand- by and coffee mugs now standing empty. Ianto smiled and began.

"My favourite colour is red."

Jack watched his every move and discovered to his dismay that Ianto was once again impossible to read, it was a shame he didn't play poker really.

"Truth." He announced, of course it was red.

Ianto placed his hand on the scanning panel of the lie detector.

"False." He got the green light and Jack glared at the device and then removed his boots and placed them on the table.

Ianto lifted his hand from the scanner and waited. The two of them stared into one another's eyes for the longest moment.

"My favourite colour on you is red." Jack stated.

"True." Ianto replied rather too smugly. Jack removed his braces.

Ianto wondered if Jack was playing to lose.

"I broke my leg when I was ten."

"True."

Ianto's jacket was slowly slid off his shoulders and placed neatly beside him. Jack watched every tiny little movement.

"I rescued a cute blond from a barrage balloon."

Ianto frowned, really not sure and Jack was doing his Cheshire cat impression.

"False."

Jack was feeling rather pleased with himself and Ianto filed the snippet of information away in his mind as he removed his waistcoat and slid the silk tie from around his neck.

"My favourite chocolate is Thornton's 70 percent dark."

"True!"

"False, it's Green and Black's."

"Damn." Jack pulled off his socks and Ianto tut tutted to himself thinking he was grateful that Jack didn't need a toupe.

"I've never had sex in the SUV."

Ianto wondered about that.

"False."

The squealing of the Rift alert rang through the Hub and Ianto launched himself to his feet and went straight to Tosh's terminal. Jack quickly pulled his footwear back on and then joined him. Ianto was tapping away at the key board and Jack leaned over his shoulder to get a look at the screen.

"Looks like we should check it out." He muttered. Ianto was already reaching for his mobile.

"Shall I call the others?"

Jack shook his head. "No lets go take a look and see what we're dealing with first."

Ianto completely failed to hide his surprise. "Sir?"

He was patted on the shoulder for his efforts. "Don't worry, you'll be fine, trust me."

Jack drove them out to Barry Docks at breakneck speed whilst Ianto sat in the back of the SUV scouring through the data that was being fed to them from the Hub's computers. Amazingly Ianto fully expected to feel travel sickness as the vehicle was swerved around a tight corner and down a one way street, but he simply concentrated on his work.

"The Rift signature has died down, but new readings indicate that whatever came through is giving off radiation and it's stationary, right by the edge of the water on the South walkway."

"Can you get CCTV?" Jack asked over his shoulder.

"Yep,... shit no looks like it's gone down in that area, probably an EMP. Street lights and security systems have gone down nearby, police responding to the all the burglar alarms in the warehouses going off." Ianto looked up from the screen. "Do you want me to put them off?"

"Yes."

Ianto hacked into the police communications and posted a hoax alarm for the area, hopefully that would be enough. The SUV was slammed to a stop and Jack got out and went straight to the tailgate. Ianto took a final set of readings and linked in his PDA before getting out himself and joining Jack at the back.

"The radiation levels are dying down, so long as we don't actually handle whatever it is, we should be ok."

Jack was busy loading a back pack with 'handling' equipment.

"How big is it?"

Ianto shook his head. "No way of knowing."

Jack passed him a loaded gun and the back pack and then closed down the boot and locked the SUV.....

Owen sighed somewhat heavily when the noise of his mobile ringing finally dragged him up out of a very contented sleep. He stuck an arm out from under his quilt to retrieve the offending article to take the call. It was Jack, something had gone wrong. Five minutes he and Gwen were on their way to Barry Docks......

Jack really wanted to see how Ianto would handle the situation. It looked like a low risk retrieval and Ianto followed a pace behind at his right shoulder as they made their way along the concrete under the guidance of their sweeping flashlights. The only sound was their feet and the water lapping at the side of the dock. All of the power was out and Ianto could vaguely see the roof tops of the warehouses against the back drop of a warm cloudy night. Jack strode along checking the display of the PDA Ianto had handed to him, the faint light casting an eerie greenish glow over his handsome face. Ianto thought it was handsome anyway and part of his brain really wished he would stop thinking like that.

It didn't take long for them find the visitor from the Rift, for all intents and purposes a small silvery cube, roughly the size of a cricket ball. Ianto stepped forward to get a better look right before Jack opened his mouth to warn him back. He was too late. It flared like magnesium fire, the light shooting straight into Ianto's face, throwing him backwards over the edge of the dock and into the water. Jack flung off his greatcoat and dropped his gear in a heap and dived in. The little cube vanished, it's job done.

Ianto opened his mouth to scream but hit the water instead, fluid flooding into his lungs as he sank straight down, arms cartwheeling. It was so black and his chest was straight away bursting with the pain. He flailed trying to see through the blackness as he sank further down. Then everything stopped and all Ianto could perceive was blinding light exploding in his brain.

The shock of hitting the water almost knocked the wind out of him, but Jack quickly surfaced, filled his lungs and plunged down into the depths, three times of flailing about in the cold dark before his searching hands grabbed hair and then fabric. Jack hauled the dead weight up breaking the surface with desperate gasps. He lifted Ianto up holding him around his chest to keep his head clear of the water. Somewhere he found the room in his panic for a small prayer, thanking God for the high tide that enabled him to haul Ianto up onto the concrete slip whilst he clutched tightly on to the side with his leg wrapped around an old iron strut for leverage. He shoved the limp form further onto the concrete away from the water and then pushed himself out, breathless and dripping. Shakily he got to his feet and spied his pile of abandoned stuff, the torchlight still on. Jack ran for it leaving Ianto lying there wet and unbreathing. He grabbed his coat and phone and ran back, speed dialling Owen along the way. The call made he slammed down to his knees at Ianto's side and rolled him on to his back even under the faint light from the half moon Jack could make out white skin and blue tinged lips.

"Shit...Ianto.... come on."

He ripped away the soaking shirt and then tipped Ianto's head back to start CPR. Jack hesitated, realising instinctively he was already too late for that, but there was still time. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes and he'd done it before, to this very man not two months previously. Jack placed his hand over Ianto's heart and his lips to Ianto's cold unmoving ones and kissed for all he was worth.

It was the light that attracted their attention. Gwen pointed further down the darkened dock and set off at a run, Owen close at her heels his medical bag bouncing against his arse. They practically skidded to a stop at the sight. Jack leaning over and snogging Ianto, both of them enveloped in yellow pulsating light. Gwen and Owen simply gaped. They had seen this light before on Cary's shortly after Gwen had first joined the team, but this was like an electric light show in its intensity. In the middle of it Ianto drew in his first breath for almost 30 minutes then let out a howling scream as he was hit full force by his own consciousness.

The ride back to the Hub was an exhausted blur of voices and colour and lots of bright blue language from Owen. Ianto knew it was Owen, only he could come up with such filth really. He also knew that he was wrapped in the comforting warmth of Jack's great coat and that it was Jack that was holding him close and whispering assurances in his ears. It all sounding rather distant and Ianto finally realised that his own eyes were open and he couldn't see a bloody thing.


	13. Chapter 13

**PART Thirteen**

It was a distressing sound that grated on Owen's nerves the moment it started up. He wanted to swing his head round to see that the hell was going on, but he needed to concentrate on the road.

"Jesus Jack what are you doing to him!"

"Sssshhhh, Ianto it's ok, calm down." Jack's panicked tones didn't ease Owen's nerves in the slightest.

Another high pitched keening wail issued from Ianto's mouth which dissolved into violent coughing.

Jack struggled to hold him, grasping at flailing arms and trying to avoid panicked kicking feet. He'd completely forgotten just how strong a frightened Ianto could be. He wrapped his arms around Ianto's body trapping limbs and fastening him tightly to his chest as Ianto coughed still further, now unable to get a word out.

"It's alright Ianto..... You're gonna be fine."

Owen sped up and swung the SUV into the garage slamming on the brakes. He flew out of the driver's seat and round to the back, extremely grateful that Jack was the one holding Ianto down. He was shocked to discover wide eyed panic in Ianto's blown pupils, though for now he had stopped struggling. The coughing had lapsed into wheezing rattling shallow breaths.

"We need to get him inside quickly, there must still be fluid in his lungs!"

Jack didn't argue and the two of them had him sprawled out on the autopsy table within minutes. Gwen was there with warm dry blankets, having driven ahead in Owen's car.

"Jack go get some dry clothes on, Owen and I can take care of Ianto."

Owen worked, fast and furiously, first some scans and then blood tests, he then got straight into surgeon mode and promptly put in a chest drain, which immediately relieved the distressed breathing. Ianto lay on his back panting into the oxygen mask as Gwen man handled him out of his wet clothes and wrapped him in warm dry blankets. Ianto weakly tried to fend her off, but gave up in exhaustion and terror. He babbled and mumbled and Owen watched with some concern as he shone his penlight into Ianto's eyes, taking note of the slightly scorched skin around the bridge of his nose.

"Ianto mate, can you hear me?"

Ianto's hand was reached out again towards the medic. "I can't see Owen, I can't see you." Owen grasped his hand.

"Alright mate. I need to look at you, so lie still."

Ianto finally sagged as the bright colours in his vision dipped down to a grey fog.

"Can you see anything at all?"

Green flashed..... in time with the speech. Ianto stiffened with fear.

"Ianto?"

Brighter green this time, and Gwen's voice instead of Owen's.

"Colours! I can see colours." Searing red that burned. "Oh, God it hurts."

Owen stepped back from his patient and turned to see Jack looking down from the observation level.

"It was a psyche grenade. Ianto got into its range and it flared in his face. He fell back into the water."

Jack came down the steps and stood to the other side of the metal table that Ianto was lying on. He carefully took Ianto's free hand.

"What colour now Ianto?"

Ianto was blinking unseeing up at him. "Blue. Owen and Gwen were green..... I'm.... red. It hurts Jack." He squeezed his eyes shut and tears leaked out from under the dark lashes.

Owen pocketed his pen light and folded his arms across his chest. "I'll need to do a thorough eye exam, but I want to get him stable first."

Jack nodded.

"What can you tell me about these grenades Jack."

Owen got to work putting in an IV line and gently whispering to Ianto as he went about his work, explaining what he was doing, but his listening attention was fully on Jack's words as he explained.

"They are illegal weapons for use against telepaths and people with psychic abilities. It scrambles the brain, confuses messages so that sound and sight interpretations go hay wire. It's designed to prevent a telepath from focussing on someone in order to read their thoughts...... Ianto must have some level of ability because the device is harmless to anyone who doesn't."

Owen finished administering antibiotics. "There's nothing on his medical records."

Ianto had obviously been listening. "That's because I altered them before I came here from London." He whispered.

Owen glared at him. "You did what?"

Ianto flinched at the explosion of lime green and thumping pain in his skull.

"Don't shout, please!"

"Tosser! Jack is this permanent?"

Jack shook his head. "It'll wear off in a few days. It wasn't something that was designed to kill. More disorientation and fear, these things were often used for torture, different types of device target different areas of the brain. He should ok in a week at the most."

Jack realised he was still holding onto Ianto's hand. "How is he apart from this?"

Owen was still fuming. "His lungs are full of dirty sea water, so I've started him on IV antibiotics to prevent pneumonia, the chest drains will most likely be able to come out tomorrow."

"Will I be able to see again?" Ianto's tentative voice reminding them that he was still there.

Owen was still glowering at him. "You bloody better. I want you to see my fist when it breaks your nose you Welsh git! Is there anything you've removed from your medical records?"

Ianto winced at the volume. "No, Owen."

Owen stepped back and snapped off his latex gloves. "Right fine. I'm going to leave the systems in here on constant scan so we can document his condition, just in case this happens again. You Tea Boy, stay put!"

The medic turned away and grumbled something about needing a coffee and he and Gwen left the autopsy bay, a moment later and Gwen was pressing a mug of coffee into Jack's hand. Jack looked up at her.

"You came with Owen, I didn't call you in, did he ring you?"

Gwen hurriedly looked down at her feet. "Yes, he picked me up on the way over, you sounded pretty panicked on the phone thought I might be needed." She headed up the stairs and left Jack with Ianto. Jack sighed recognizing the lie for what it was.

"They're having an affair Jack." Ianto whispered. "I thought you knew."

Jack shook his head and then remembered that Ianto couldn't see him. "No, I didn't. I am so bloody out of tune with everything that's going on under my nose."

He was surprised to feel Ianto squeezing at his fingers. "I am going to be able to see again, aren't I?"

Jack looked down into his frightened young face and felt his chest swell with pain. "Yes, you will. Why did you alter the records Ianto, you know how dangerous that could have been."

Ianto closed his eyes in an effort to block out the dancing myriad of blues in his vision, he dodged the question.

"Why is it I see different colours? I mean for you there is blue and not just one blue, but lots of them?"

Jack heaved out a sighed and pulled his hand free so he could clasp his mug of coffee with both hands.

"Jack?"

"It's ok, Ianto. Still here and you avoided my question."

Ianto smiled, there was little else he could do. His chest hurt and he felt tired and sick, but mostly just scared.

"When I was at TW One they experimented on me and came to the conclusion that I was mildly empathic, I also have a photographic memory. It's why I ended up working in research.... it was more covert in nature.... they found it useful. I didn't want to draw attention to myself in anyway, so I erased the information in my file."

Jack sipped on the coffee and winced, it was disgusting. He put the mug down and retook Ianto's hand in both of his.

"I don't know about the colours, but blue is my colour, maybe on some level you know that."

"But mine isn't red and when I speak I see red and it hurts."

"Then don't speak. Just rest."

"Did I drown Jack?"

"Yes."

"You brought me back again."

"Yes."

"Thank you."

Owen sank down onto the sofa beside Gwen and stretched out, resting his feet on the little coffee table, he sipped at the mug of coffee she had made him then abandoned it beside his feet.

"He knows." Gwen muttered.

Owen grinned. "So what, does it matter?"

Gwen sighed and picked at her fingernails. "It isn't right, what we're doing."

Owen snorted. "No sweetheart. I'm not doing anything wrong, you're the one with the 'stable relationship', not me."

Gwen slammed down her mug and rose to her feet. "Piss off Owen." She went to her desk to retrieve her handbag and jacket. "I'm going home."

Owen watched her leave then went back down towards the autopsy bay and froze on the top step, listening to Ianto and Jack talking in hushed voices.

".......Lisa and I had this game that we used to play. We'd pick random words for one another and try to use them in every sentence, but it was complete craziness and she'd always come up with gross medical terms for me to use. She had a friend called Adeola who worked on the top floor who used join in with us at lunch times or when we went out together. It was different Jack. I felt like I was part of something. I was happy there."

"I know that, it's harder here because there's only five of us and we live in each other's pockets. It must be weird for you. I just hope Gwen doesn't ruin things with Rhys."

"She won't. I think she's just trying to take everything in and lets face it Torchwood is nothing like Gwent Constabulary, she's probably had to re adjust her values and beliefs to cope with what she sees. I believed in God before I joined Torchwood Jack, now there's this barren hole inside me where my faith used to reside. Her first day here over a dozen men died because she threw a chisel. It's a lot to take on, the enormity of this place and the responsibility."

Owen's breath caught in his chest and he back peddled as quietly as he could not wanting to listen anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I notice that there are lots of new faces on that stats board and of course many 'friends' out there reading and reviewing. I discovered that some of you live in the furthest corners of the world and I am flattered that so many people from ALL over the world are prepared to give up their time for my stories. I know I've said it before...... but**

**THANK YOU VERY MUCH......ALL OF YOU!**

**PART FOURTEEN**

Jack just got out of the way. It was clear that Ianto was in a filthy mood and Tosh, if it was at all possible was even grumpier than he was. It was all thanks to the Archangel Network going on line. It had meant changing their handsets, passwords and even some niggly little things to make sure that Torchwood security wasn't compromised because of the new phone system.

Ianto was still suffering with blinding headaches and Gwen and Owen had seemingly had a bit of a falling out. Jack decided that his office was the best place to be and Ianto having cottoned on very quickly had promptly dumped a fat wadge of paperwork on his desk first thing that morning. Jack slowly ploughed his way through it trying to come up with some pleasurable form of punishment for the young man to be dished out after hours.

Ianto's week of blindness had been nearly two and none of the documentation had been dealt with whilst the young had been left home alone to muddle through his temporary disability. The 'drowning' had also left him with a racking cough that made his face go purple each time it started up. Owen had prescribed stronger antibiotics and Ianto had moaned like mad ever since. Jack really didn't like the young man when he was moaning, Ianto had got that down to a fine art when the mood took him.

The other annoyance had been Harold, bloody pain in the proverbial, Saxon. The guy was a sexy, sanctimonious git and Jack hated him and passed most of his calls onto Ianto faking every emergency under the sun to avoid communicating with the man. Ianto didn't like him either, which was what most of the moaning was about.

To top it off Gwen had gone on a one girl crusade to investigate the death of one Eugene Jones who was rather too similar to Ianto in personality than was strictly healthy.... well obviously it wasn't healthy at all, he was dead. Jack glared at the papers and sighed launching up out of his seat he flung open the door to his office.

"Ianto!"

Tosh looked up from her terminal and pulled off her glasses.

"He's not here."

Jack pouted, he really needed a decent coffee.

"He and Owen are at that meeting with UNIT, the one you were supposed to attend? In London?" Tosh shook her head and went back to her work.

Jack sighed, he'd completely forgotten, thank goodness the Rift was behaving. He sighed retreating back to his domain and the admin.

Tosh went home at 10pm and Gwen had called in just to let him know she'd be in first thing Monday morning and Jack was delighted when at a quarter past midnight Ianto stepped in through the roller door. The Welshman was looking extremely harassed, but he managed to greet Jack with the faintest of smiles before placing an over stuffed box file on Gwen's desk.

"You weren't waiting up for me, were you, sir?"

Jack grinned. "You're not due in until after the weekend. Don't you have family to visit or something?"

Ianto sighed at the mention of his family as an image of his overweight, dodgy brother-in-law swam in his vision. Ianto shuddered.

"No. I have to sort these reports anyway and it's quicker if I do it when no one is here demanding coffee every five minutes.......hint."

Ianto watched as Jack put his hands into a prayer position and rolled his eyes. "Typical...... Yes Jack I had a lovely time in Whitehall, thank you very much. Mr Frobisher was most pleasant, Miss Spears was most unpleasant and Harold Saxon was as smarmy as ever........"

Jack offered up a lopsided grin. "How was London?"

Ianto glanced skyward for inspiration. "Owen had a row with General Mace and Commander Meers was chatting me up and trying to fondle my arse..... I mean do I look gay? Or desperate for that matter. The coffee was vile, the trains were late, both ways and London stinks and neither of my new suits were ready so Ronaldo has to post them when they're made because the fabric order came in late because of the postal strike......"

"Ianto... stop.... breathe..... calm down." Jack strode forwards and grasped his shoulders, rubbing them gently with his thumbs, trying not to laugh.

Ianto closed his eyes a deep frown settling on his brow as he sucked in a slow deep lungful of air and exhaled it out. Finally his shoulders sagged and the tension dropped away.

"Sorry, sir. It's this bloody head ache. I've tried everything but it won't budge."

Jack mentally chided him for the use of the 'sir', old habits were hard to break for this man.

"Its ok, did Owen give you anything?"

Ianto nodded. "Different pain killers I've to start them tonight, but they'll make me sleepy and I've too much to get done."

He felt Jack's left hand go to his cheek and rest there, warm against his skin, it was hard not to lean into the touch which is what he wanted to do.

"Ianto, you should really take the weekend and get some rest. Things are quiet here and you know how it is, things'll kick off over Christmas and no one will get a break."

Slowly Ianto opened his eyes to find Jack staring right into his soul. Ianto held the look and hitched a smile.

"You need a break too, sir."

Jack's thumb was brushing at his cheek, he just couldn't bring himself to look away from those beautiful oceanic eyes, there was so much emotion surging under those blues and Jack in that moment would have happily drowned there. His hand slid round to the back of Ianto's head, fingers carding through soft hair and he moved closer, able to feel Ianto's breath on his face, lips almost......

"Bollocks! Ianto have you got my wallet I think I...... Oh.. shit!"

Owen stood on threshold of the roller doorway and gaped and Jack's hand fell away as he stepped back, facing Owen with a devilish grin.

"Owen, thought you'd be in a club by now."

Ianto faced him, his cheeks dusted by a faint flush. "I was going to post it through your front door, you left it in the taxi after you were dropped off." Ianto delved into his coat pocket and pulled it out. He stepped past the medic.

"Right, then I'll see you on Monday." He couldn't get out of there fast enough and he left an extremely puzzled and disappointed Jack in his wake. The moment the cog door was closed Owen rounded on his boss.

"Honestly Jack, can't you keep it in your pants for one minute! Leave the Tea Boy alone, he really shouldn't be messed with."

Jack's eyes went like saucers. "What?!"

Owen just glared and then turned to leave. "Good night Jack!"

Ianto practically ran home. He was shaking by the time he got inside his front door and the headache throbbed so badly that he had to run for the bathroom to be sick. His day really had been crap and Commander Meers' unwanted attention for some reason, he could not identify, had really upset him. The scant food of the day of the day was quickly thrown up and he was left dry heaving for almost an hour before it finally settled down. Ianto stripped and stood under a scalding shower for almost thirty minutes before thinking he should probably get to bed. He pulled on T-shirt and track pants and was drying his hair when he heard the knock on his front door. Cursing in Welsh, he went to answer it making sure the chain was on before opening the door. Under the porch light stood a very worried looking Jack Harkness. Ianto sighed, released the chain and opened the door fully gesturing him in. Ianto half wondered if he looked as groggy as he felt and promptly started coughing again, which made the headache ten times worse. His face flushed spectacularly as he followed Jack into the lounge and slumped onto his couch beside his boss. Jack waited for him to collect his wits before speaking.

"You should really be in bed resting Ianto. Do I need to call Owen?"

Ianto shook his head. Jack stood up, holding out his hand. "Come on, let me get you settled, then I'll go."

Reluctantly Ianto grasped the proffered limb and allowed himself to be led to bed. He crawled under the quilt and Jack tucked it tightly around him.

"Where's your meds?"

"Kitchen bench." Ianto snuggled into his pillows.

Jack went to fetch the pain killers, antibiotics and a glass of water. A few minutes and three tablets later and Ianto was snoring softly into the bedding. Jack gently petted his head for a moment and decided on staying the night, not entirely convinced that Ianto was well enough to be left on his own. He quietly kicked off his boots and draped his beloved coat over the ottoman at the end of the bed, but otherwise he stayed dressed, settling down beside Ianto on top of the covers rather than under them. He lay on his back gazing at the magnolia ceiling, his hands under his head, the sounds of Ianto's slumbering breaths in his ears rather calming in the dim light that leeched through the curtains from a street lamp outside the window. Jack's eyelids shuttered down and he drifted off into a peaceful doze.


	15. Chapter 15

**PART FIFTEEN**

Tosh curled up on her sofa and chattered contentedly to her mother on the speaker phone. They always had so much to talk about and it had been wonderful to hear her voice and catch up with all the things that were going on in Japan, she was most excited that her grandfather and Mother were both planning to visit England in the New Year to celebrate his 88th birthday and that she would be able to see them when they came. Jack had organised the flights and a hotel for them, the gift was unprecedented and Toshiko had cried at the time of receiving the tickets and hotel reservation documents. Jack had told her she deserved the chance to be with her family and that no one should ever feel alone in this life. She had been shocked afterwards, it had never occur to her that Jack could feel alone, but it was obvious that he did. From then on she had watched her boss and friend closely, seen how his eyes followed them each as they went about their tasks around the Hub. It was almost as if he was trying to burn the memory of them into his mind. Tosh had also noticed his gaze lingering on a certain young Welshman. She could not decide whether it was pity, or lust, or perhaps just concern for the quiet man, Ianto was certainly a curious thing. It was always the quiet ones.

Owen rolled out of the stranger's bed late that Saturday morning and quickly dressed himself before vacating the flat. Hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans and eyes squinted against the offending daylight he headed home on foot and back to his bed to sleep off the rest of his hang over. The image of his boss about to snog the Tea Boy burned into his retinas and not in a good way. Jack always had been a bit of a predator when it came to his conquests. Ianto seemed like an odd choice, especially with the deep betrayal that lay between them. Of course Harkness probably saw that as a challenge. Perhaps he was going after Tea Boy because he'd missed out on Gwen, though Owen was quite positive that Gwen would happily drop her knickers if Jack asked her to. Gwen wasn't exactly subtle and Owen half found himself feeling a little bit sorry for the illusive Rhys.

Jack was snapped out of his doze by Ianto practically rolling out of his bed with a fit of coughing. It frightened the life out of him when the painful racket kept going for longer than was any good. He leapt off the bed and ran to fetch a glass of water and Ianto by then had finally got himself under control as he took the glass from Jack with a hot shaking hand. He gulped the water and Jack splayed his palm across Ianto's furrowed forehead.

"I'm calling Owen."

Ianto shook his head and wheezed spectacularly for minute. "Take me to casualty, let Owen.... have his day off." He coughed again and grabbed a tissue, spitting green gunk into it.

Jack arched his eyebrows. "You sure?"

In truth Ianto wasn't in the mood for Owen's bitching. "Yep."

Half an hour later and Ianto was huddled up on a gurney with a vomit bowl at St Helen's AnE, with Jack fussing around like a hen. Ianto didn't seem to notice too much as he shivered and sweated and coughed in no particular order. Five hours later he was admitted with severe pneumonia.

Jack drove back to the Hub on the Saturday evening chewing at his lower lip and swearing at everything on the roads. He vaguely wondered how Gwen was getting on with the Eugene Jones thing, but decided not to call, she'd ring if anything came up, he was sure of that. It was nice to find the Hub quiet and for once none of his team having to spend their Saturday night at work. He went down to the cells to check Janet and the 'tribbles' (Which seemed to be doing just fine) and he noted somewhat worryingly larger. He then went to the fridge to get Myfanwy some Salmon, apparently she didn't go for cheaper fish like sardines or cod and red meat gave her the runs. Jack didn't want to dwell on that last thought really. And he vaguely wondered how Ianto had found out...... did he really want to know the answer to that? As the hungry pterosaur swooped down on her snacks it occurred to Jack that she hadn't seen fresh air and daylight since she was caught and he wondered if he set her free whether or not she would come back. Perhaps they could look into training her into going out at night and coming back at dawn, so she could fly and have some freedom. It was a fanciful idea really, but a nice one. She'd probably start snacking on the local sheep, maybe they could train her to eat pigeons, the local council would like that! Jack smiled to himself as he tossed up the last fish.

Ianto coughed and dozed intermittently throughout the day. He was grateful when Jack finally and reluctantly left him to rest. It had surprised him just how worried Jack had been, but he was too tired to dwell on it. The haze of medication, much more powerful than the stuff Owen had given him, was a welcome embrace as he watched through half closed eyes as the pretty red headed nurse did his obs and wrote stuff down on his chart, talking quietly with a beautiful Irish lilt as she worked. Ianto had always loved the sound of the Irish. He drifted off to sleep with a stupid smile on his pale face.

Gwen rolled in on Monday morning with a cheerful grin, having solved the mystery that was Eugene Jones. Shortly after Tosh arrived with her lap top in hand with a concerned frown on her face, she straight away put her lap down on her desk and went to Jack's office only to find Gwen there giving her report about the Jones case that was more of a personal crusade than a case. Tosh tapped on the door and entered with a smile.

"Sorry to interrupt, Jack. But I haven't been able to get hold of Ianto all weekend, he's helping with these new communications updates this week and I needed to talk to him before we started on the new firewalls."

Jack straightened up and gestured for her to enter, much to Gwen's annoyance.

"Ianto's in hospital for a few days, he has pneumonia. I took him into St Helen's on Saturday morning."

Tosh's hand went to her mouth and Gwen looked vaguely shocked and wondered why Jack hadn't told her first thing when she arrived.

"Is he going to be alright?" Tosh asked.

Jack nodded.

"Why isn't he here with Owen looking after him?" Gwen demanded, she really wanted any excuse to be pissed at Owen right now.

Jack smiled reassuringly at them both. "Ianto asked me to take him to the hospital instead, it's better anyway he'll get the care he needs without tying any of us up."

"More like he didn't want Owen grumbling about another ruined weekend." Gwen added.

Jack had to concede the point. "That as well. Ianto was right though, you all needed the days to yourselves for a change, he'll be fine. I dropped in to check him yesterday and he's already looking much improved."

Tosh nodded. "Right then, I'll just get on. When is he coming back to work?"

"When he is recovered and not a moment before."

"I'm glad to hear it, he's been pushing himself too hard again lately."

Jack couldn't argue with that either. "So in the absence of the world's greatest coffee maker I am going to Starbuck's, anyone want anything?" He rose from his chair and Gwen quickly got up as well.

"I'll walk with you."

"Latte please Jack." Tosh called over her shoulder as she headed back to her desk.

Owen wandered in some two minutes after bumping into Jack and Gwen on the Plas. He dumped his jacket over the back of his chair and went to Tosh.

"Tea Boy sent me a text this morning, saying sorry he isn't here to help." He sat down in Gwen's chair and picked at the things on her desk. "Nice of him to call me when he's sick." He groused.

Tosh was happily getting on with her work but she looked up at Owen anyway.

"It's not like you care."

Owen baulked. "Yes I do. I'm his doctor Tosh. I know he's a bit of a prat, but ......"

Toshiko sighed. "Actually Owen he was being kind and making sure you got an uninterrupted weekend off."

Owen hesitated. "He was?"

Tosh nodded.

"I caught Jack snogging him late Friday night, after we got back from London."

At that Tosh sat up and removed her glasses. "Really?"

Owen nodded, knowing that any juicy office gossip would always get the girls hooked. "Yeah, Ianto did a road runner though. I think Jack should leave well alone."

Tosh didn't agree. "I think they'd be good together. Ianto's so lonely."

Owen snorted. "Yeah right..... Like Jack's gonna care about that."

"I think he cares more than you think."

Owen lurched to his feet. "Of course he does..... Bollocks I forget to ask him to get my coffee." He headed down to the autopsy bay whistling as went.

"Rhi, no! I can't do Christmas. I have to work, I'm sorry. We're just busy right now."

Ianto yanked open his fridge door and grabbed the milk and started coughing again.

"No no I'm fine, really it's a cold..... Yes I know you haven't seen me in ages. Yes...... yes. I have ....... I posted their presents, you know they only want money from their uncle any...way......... No...... no... yes.... ok..... alright bye."

He dumped the cordless phone on the counter top and turned to Tosh with faint smile. "Sorry about that. My sister wants me over for Christmas."

Tosh leaned against the breakfast bar in Ianto's neat kitchen and smiled a little sadly.

"Don't you miss Family Christmas time?"

He passed her a cup of coffee and put the milk back in the fridge. "No not really. My brother-in-law is a bit much and Rhi's always trying to set me up with someone and I don't do small kids too well. Anyway I've had so much time off sick with this blasted chest thing.... you guys could all do with the break." He sat down and drank his coffee. "I wonder how the out of timers are getting along. The supermarket was a nightmare and a half."

"Were you able to find any of John Ellis' family?"

Ianto nodded. "I gave the information to Jack. His son's still alive, in a rest home apparently. It's so sad Tosh. I really feel for him. I hope Jack can help him."

Tosh slid down into the dining chair opposite Ianto's. "What's the deal with you and Jack?"

Ianto quirked his eyebrows.

"Oh come on Ianto, Owen told me he caught you guys snogging the other week."

His face flushed scarlet. "We did not snog..... God I hate that word. There's nothing going on Tosh. There never could be after what I did to him. I could never expect anything."

They both finished their coffees in silence and then gathered up his keys. "Come on, lets get to work."

Ianto sat slumped in the cold kitchen having dragged Jack away from fume filled garage, coughing on carbon monoxide and cradling a dead Jack Harkness against his chest. He heaved rapid shallow breaths, trying to hold back his tears as he clutched at the stinking fabric of Jack's faithful great coat. He got the fright of his life when Jack juddered back into lithe world of the living, in his arms. He cried and Jack rolled over in his embrace and held his shaking body in his tired arms.

"I'm sorry Ianto, I'm sorry you had to see that."

Ianto clung to him. "I don't care Jack, I really don't..... whatever it is you are.... you're alive. That's all that matters to me."

They lay there, both of them in tears. Jack crying for John and quite possibly himself, he later realised. Ianto crying with relief, and somewhere deep inside him, the restoration of his faith.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: I was so upset about Ianto's 'lie' in COE.... I do not believe for one minute that he would lie to Jack about his past.... not after everything they have been through.... so this kind've explains the misunderstanding behind Gwen and Rhi about that whole 'Master Tailor' thing.**

**PART SIXTEEN**

Ianto carefully zipped up the body bag, covering John Ellis' face.

"Would you like some time Jack?"

Jack stood back and shook his head, his hair, still damp from the shower, flopping over his forehead untidily.

"No, thank you."

Ianto pushed the tray into the wall and closed up the door on John's life. "Does he have to stay here Jack?"

Jack shrugged, too tired to give it much thought.

"You had something in mind?"

"Well, with your permission, I'd like to find where his wife is buried and inter him with her."

Jack nodded heart warmed by the gesture.

"Can you see to it?"

"Yes sir I can." Ianto turned to leave, he had the case files to update and a car to clean out. Jack fell in step behind him, their footsteps echoing around the heights of the morgue.

"May I ask you something Ianto?"

The younger man was headed for the coffee machine first.

"Of course, you may not get a straight answer though."

Somehow Jack wasn't surprised. "You seemed to have an affinity with John, you understood him perhaps even better than I."

Ianto got to work on the drinks, he was tired and still reeling from Jack's apparent inability to die.

"He reminded me of my Tad." It was something he didn't want to talk about, it was too personal. Jack wasn't about to be put off.

"Tell me why."

"Why do you want to know?"

Jack leaned against the counter top and folded his arms across his chest. "Because I need someone to talk to, as a friend not someone I work with, please its 3am on Christmas morning."

He heard Ianto suck in a tight breath and was rather worried, him having just recovered from the pneumonia.

"My Tad was a Master Tailor, he had a business that had been in the family for 3 generations. The late 1980s early 90s hit the business really hard and when I was 10 it went bust. Tad was a fantastic clothman but his accounting skills were rubbish. We lost everything and ended up living on a council estate in Newport. Tad ended up taking a job in the menswear department at Debenhams." Ianto paused a moment to gather his thoughts and load the coffee machine. "It changed everything. He suddenly had to work 70 hours a week, every scrap of overtime he could get in order to pay the debts off. He wouldn't let mam work because he wanted to make sure that me and Rhi always had someone to come home from school to. Rhi didn't seem to care much, she was always a social thing and made new friends easily, but I didn't. Tad was always my best friend and suddenly he just wasn't there anymore and when he was he always on at me to study hard and not end up like him. It broke him Jack, he lost hope and like John he was a very proud man...... John just reminded me. Nine years my Tad worked in that shit job and all he got out of it was a heart attack at the age of 45. 45 Jack, that's no life at all, but I lost him really when I was ten and our lives were just......" He stopped, swallowing back a sob. "But you understood too. You knew what John was going through."

"I couldn't save him."

Ianto looked up and saw the distant glaze in Jack's eyes.

"You let him go when he needed to and he didn't die alone. That's all any of us can ask."

"Except me." Jack murmured in response.

The coffee making was abandoned. "How long Jack? How many times?"

Jack turned his head to look at the too young a man standing there watching him.

"I must about a hundred and eighty now, by Earth reckoning, as for deaths? I lost count at a thousand." He waited for the inevitable morbid questions, but the one he least expected was the first to issue from Ianto's lips.

"Is there no one that can help you?"

"Help me?"

Ianto sighed. "I can't imagine immortality being much of a gift."

Jack hitched a smile, this is what he loved about Ianto, he really did understand, far better than he should.

"I'm waiting for someone who can help me. I've been waiting over a century for him, but I have to be careful because of timelines and God knows.... I just..... I'm tired Ianto and some days I just wish that I really could die, once and for all."

"Are you human?"

The smile suddenly got wider and those blue eyes sparkled playfully. "You should know."

Ianto knew the conversation had been closed at that point. He rested his hands on the work top and stared at the formica surface, that was pitted with age.

"Its Christmas morning Jack, it's 3am and really I think that right now a nice hot bath and my bed would be a good idea. I don't want to leave you here alone, so come with me, please."

Jack couldn't believe his ears. "Don't you have plans?"

Ianto shook his head. "If I wake up early enough I might listen to the Queen's speech?"

"Ok, thank you. I'll just go and set the remote alert." Jack reached out his hand and took hold of Ianto's wrist pulling him round so that they were facing each other properly. It was the first time he noticed that Ianto was only just shorter than him. "You sure about this?"

Ianto looked down at the large hand wrapped about his forearm and then back up to Jack's still pale face. Jack's breath froze in his chest when their eyes met.

"Yes, I'm sure."


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: I've added in a scene in here with obvious religious connotations.... It is my belief that Ianto is a reluctant believer in God of sorts and I wanted to test the water with that. I'd welcome people's opinions about this.**

**For: wickedwitchoftheSE, toobeauty, no-panties and as always Solsburygirl: get rid of your lurgies soon..... gosh don't we all have some intruiging names I really want to know about them! Thank you guys.**

**PART SEVENTEEN**

It was strange to wake up once again in Ianto's bed when nothing but conversation had passed between them. This was something that Jack simply didn't do, even when he had loved someone most passionately, bedroom talk of any sort had simple never happened. It was too domestic, too intimate and far more wonderful than he had ever given it credit for. Ianto had finally drifted into sleep at around 6am and Jack settled against him, wrapping his arms around the Welshman's body and just listened to the rhythm of his breathing, the gentle snores and the occasional murmur in what sounded like Welsh. It was so normal, so ordinary and so very terrifying. Jack could've stayed there for a very long time, just losing himself in the warmth and steady existence of the man he was holding. There wasn't a trace of Ianto's waking pains and frustrations to marr his brow and Jack just found himself gazing with intense longing into that sleeping face, his heart hurting with the knowledge that one day he'd be dead, like all the others.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Owen hadn't left the airfield. It was a bitter breezy day and he sat in his car hunched over a bottle of Stella, alternating between swigging it's contents, thumping the steering wheel and crying. The overwhelming emptiness of Diane's departure consumed him absolutely, a mere week of paradise and falling completely in love..... No one had ever left him before and whilst he'd been with her a little piece of his former self had shone. The hope he had once carried around in his work and his love for Katie had blazed all too briefly. He had wanted to really live in the moment once again and then she was gone. Owen had watched the skies for hours after the Sky Gypsy had taken off, with some vague hope that Diane would come back. No such luck! Some fucking wonderful Christmas this turned out to be. No one ever loved as fiercely as he and no one ever broke down quite so monumentally either. He stared down at the now empty bottle in his hand and finally tossed it aside. He keyed the ignition and drove home, breaking the speed limit all the way. As soon as he got home he found the nearest bottle of Jack Daniels and sat down on the couch in front of the telly. After all what else was there to do on Christmas day.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ianto had not really liked the idea of using Janet as bait but was forced to agree with Jack, it was the only way. Now that she was resettled into her pen she was restless and constantly growling, the progress made in taming her undone. Ianto watched her sadly and decided he would try to add some nice treats into her food over the next few days. He had not liked sedating her that morning, but it was the only way to clean and sooth her wounds, which though superficial had to be painful. He vaguely wondered how Owen was fairing in hospital. Jack had been furious and unsympathetic but Ianto understood losing love hurt whichever way you looked at it and it was clear that Diane's departure had broken the medic. Part of him wondered if he should visit Owen in hospital, he certainly wanted to if only to show that he did care, in the way that Owen had cared for him after Lisa. But he also knew Owen. Turning away from Janet's pen with a sigh Ianto headed out of the vaults. He had a headache and a bad feeling in his gut that he couldn't explain. Something was coming and he wished he knew what it was, because it was making the hairs on the back of his neck tingle and his hands, the backs of his hands itched like crazy. He was absently scratching at them as he made his way to the coffee machine. Gwen accosted him by Tosh's desk.

"Are you alright?"

Ianto froze as her hand came to rest on his sleeve. He looked down at it for a moment taking in the beautifully manicured fingernails.

Ianto faced her with a look that obviously startled her into withdrawing the contact.

"Yes. Sorry, I'm just tired. Coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Ianto nodded and carried on his way. There was also the matter of the stolen Retcon. The Retcon that Gwen had removed from the stock. Ianto debated with himself and what to do about it, but had decided to say nothing. They all kept secrets, why should Gwen be any different? The woman was clearly in pain, she was broadcasting all over the place..... guilt..... that was always a favourite. Ianto wondered where Tosh was and soon found his answer when he discovered her crying in the kitchenette. He hesitated by the door way.

"Tosh?"

She swung round wiping at wet eyes and smiling at the same time, it looked almost comical if it wasn't so sad. Ianto strode forwards and enveloped her small body in a soft embrace, gently cradling her head. Tosh whimpered and sniffed against him, but didn't say anything and neither did he, sometimes a hug was enough and he hoped that in this case it would do. Torchwood felt like it was coming apart under the strain of all their collective miseries and Ianto quietly wondered as he held his colleague, when it would snap.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been 6 years since my last confession."

"And what has finally made you return to the church to confess?"

"I'm afraid, Father."

"Then tell me what you wish to confess, son."

"I lost my faith. My Tad died and I lost my faith. I also stopped believing because I learned that the world, existence is so much bigger than the confines of this planet. I thought God could not possibly exist where science and fact contradicted my belief. I've had to lie to protect someone I loved and now she is gone and I couldn't save her...... I've fallen in love with the man who ended her life and I know it is all wrong and I have no answers and I cannot reconcile my fear."

"That's certainly a lot, but I cannot see the sin in fear or protecting those who are valuable to you. What is it you want from God?"

"To understand, I need to know that what I have done was for the right reasons and I know that it was not. Lisa was gone and I tried to save her because I was afraid of being alone again. I nearly destroyed everything."

"But you didn't."

"I could have and now it seems everything is falling apart around me. My friends are lost. We are lost, it's like the map we have all relied on has been snatched away when we need it most."

"And you think God has abandoned you?"

"I lost my faith, why wouldn't he?"

"Faith is something that has to be tested, every so often we have to reach it out of the box and take it for a bit of spin. To remind ourselves.... perhaps this is your time to be reminded, to be restored. Do you believe in miracles?"

"Yes, Father. I see them a lot and my colleagues right them off with scientific jargon and I get that, I really do, but the science itself is a miracle isn't it?"

"Sometimes the truth of such things really is that simple. I know your choices are difficult and you will be faced with many more, much harder ones along the way. You must accept that God has his reasons."

"Even when things go bad and people die?"

"Even then. Trust your instincts because they come from God. You can do that."

"And what if I'm wrong?"

"You're conscience will tell you, the choice ultimately is yours."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Toshiko and Ianto stood watching the 'tribbles' with worried frowns. Ianto had been down to the cells that morning and discovered that the brightly furry balls were rather larger than they had been the previous night.

"Have you told Jack yet?"

Ianto shook his head. "He's on a conference call with Saxon and quite frankly he doesn't need another excuse not to talk to the man."

"What have you been feeding them?"

"I tried loads of things but they seemed to like porridge the best, it's always gone the following morning and I've never had to clean out the cell, they don't 'do' anything. It's all in the study notes on Owen's database, but they've literally doubled in size over night and now I'll have to find larger accommodations for them or stop feeding them. But they've gone quiet."

"We could always foist them on UNIT, they've got proper holding facilities."

"Yes, and research labs with knives and needles. You know they'll do experiments."

Tosh nodded, Ianto was very attached to all of his charges and made a point of caring for them as best as he could, he had been as upset as she had over the use of Janet the previous week.

"We can't let them get any bigger. I mean suppose they just keep growing?"

"Maybe they're about to reproduce?"

"I'll go get the Bekeran scanner, lets see if they are about to spawn, but I still think we should send them to UNIT, this place is turning into a zoo."

Ianto couldn't argue the point really, but these things were aliens, quite possibly sentient and what right did they have to detain them or do tests on them anyway? Ianto sighed, of course they couldn't be released, that would be all kinds of stupid. He half wondered if they were just full of gas, perhaps the porridge was a bad move after all.

A few minutes later and Tosh was back with scanner in hand and a pda which she handed to Ianto. Jack followed her in to the vaults and stood gaping at the distended fur balls packed rather tightly into the cell.

"Wow, they ARE big. Ianto have you been giving them steroids?"

"Very funny, sir."

Tosh waved the scanner about for some ten minutes and Jack stood close to Ianto a hand rested lightly over his arse as he read the display on the little screen.

"Well according to this they're dead and full of gas."

Ianto gripped the PDA as he felt Jack's hand move up to the small of his back.

"I killed them?"

Tosh turned and faced him and saw the abject horror on his pale face. "Oh, God I killed them!" Ianto dropped the PDA and fled from the vaults. Jack and Tosh exchanged surprised looks and Jack took off after him.

Ianto charged across the Hub and out through the roller door and to Gwen's surprise Jack followed a moment later, not even slowing down. He stepped onto the lift that took him up to the Plas. A few moments of searching found Ianto standing at the waterside, leaning on the rails and looking out over the Bay. Jack cautiously approached him and gently rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Talk to me Ianto."

The Welshman was wiping tears from his pale cheeks.

"What's there to say. I screwed up and now those creatures are dead."

Jack sighed and followed his gaze out across the grey water, there was a storm coming.

"You did not screw up, you did what you thought was right, and you followed all of the procedures."

"I'm not a xenobiologist Jack. We have no business dealing these things if we can't even..... I mean what are we supposed to do? Maybe I should've cut one of them up to study or something. Perhaps that would've saved the others."

"Ianto, you can't go thinking like that. You did nothing wrong, hell back in the old days they would've been exterminated outright. At least they have a chance......"

"What death by Trial and Error? Some chance Jack. I need more training, I need to know how to handle these things."

Jack was shaking his head. "No, I need to do something about it. I'll talk to UNIT maybe between us we can organise some kind of refugee facility."

Ianto gave him a sceptical look. "They'd do exactly what Torchwood One would've done, they'd be experimenting and testing...."

"That has to be better than trial and error, surely."

Ianto looked away again. "I'm sorry I let them down Jack."

"I know you are, just don't beat yourself up over it. You keep doing that and you'll go mad in this job."

"So what I abandon all pretence at being human."

Jack rubbed his shoulder. "No, you could never do that, I would never ask it of you. Just do what you do, watch and learn and grow from all this, because you can Ianto. You have the strangest mindset, you'd help anyone or anything in pain, there's no prejudice or malice in you, just this ability to do the right thing by your conscience. Keep doing that, but don't be blinded by it."

"You keep saying things are going to change Jack, something bad is coming isn't it?"

Jack's hand froze for a moment before drifting down to rest on Ianto's hand still gripping the rail. He traced his fingers over the prominent knuckles.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I am afraid and I do not know why. I even went to church this morning to confess. I haven't done that since Tad died."

Jack failed to hide his surprise. "You never cease to amaze me, how can you believe after everything you've seen?"

Ianto sucked in a steadying breath before formulating an answer that didn't make him sound like a wacko.

"Because I have to believe that there is a reason for all of this. I have to hope that when the world is coming to an end that it wasn't all for nothing."

"The world isn't going to end, Ianto." Jack responded with absolute certainty.

"Can you really be sure of that?"

Jack gave him that 1000watt grin. "Yes, because no matter how bad it gets there will always be someone to save us."


	18. Chapter 18

**PART EIGHTEEN**

Ok, so he was shit at hand to hand combat and Owen had kicked the crap out of him, but he was still an excellent shot. Ianto glared at his colleague, he glared at his own hands and then he fled to the kitchenette and made coffee with violently shaking hands. It was all going wrong, he could see it spiralling and he felt like he was trapped in a bell jar watching the madness through the glass. At least Jack and Tosh were back, safe and sound and Owen had opened the fucking the Rift and they were all going to die. Unable to continue with his task without spilling anything Ianto leaned against the counter and sucked in rapid, shallow breaths. He had no idea how long he'd been standing there before Jack's voice snapped him out of his reverie. Ianto looked up and saw grief written all over his face.

"Jack?"

It was obvious to Ianto that his boss was trying very hard to gather his strength before speaking.

"Could you make me a coffee and bring it to the office?"

Ianto nodded. "Of course."

"I've sent the others home for the night, you can go as well if you like."

Ianto wasn't sure what to do.

"What do you want me to do?"

Jack looked even more hesitant than before. "Stay here, with me."

There was no question, Ianto would've done it anyway of that he was certain.

"I'll be there in a minute then."

xxx

The coffee consumed they sat in companionable silence in Jack's office. It was clear that Jack wanted to speak, but couldn't find the language he needed to express his tumbling emotions so Ianto found the words for him.

"Tell me about Jack Harkness, who was he? Really?"

Jack clasped his hands tightly around the cut crystal glass filled with brandy.

"I stole his name, I stole his life." Jack took a long deep draught of the amber liquid and sighed after swallowing it down. "Before I became immortal I came here to Earth to run a scam, a con. By coincidence it was 1941 and Jack Harkness had been reported MIA after a training exercise. I took his name and nearly destroyed this planet for the sake of a few lousy credits, trouble is the man I was dealing with turned out to be a real hero with a pretty blonde side kick." Jack's gaze became unfocussed with the fond memory.

"The Doctor and Rose Tyler?"

Jack frowned and actually glared at Ianto. "You know this how?"

Ianto leant back in his chair and loosened his tie. "You talk in your sleep Jack and they were both at Canary Wharf. I saw him, the Doctor. It's the same one isn't it?"

Jack nodded and relaxed back himself. "Yeah, the same one. The only one. We hooked up for a while and had some crazy adventures. He taught me a better way to live my life. I'd introduced myself as Jack and I've kept his name ever since."

"And today you met your namesake."

Jack's eyes shuttered closed for a moment and Ianto realised he was holding back tears.

"Yes. He was a real hero Ianto and if he'd have lived he would have been amazing. I don't deserve his name." The water tracked over Jack's cheeks and Ianto got up from his seat and came round and sat himself on the edge of the desk right in front of him. He reached out and took one of Jack's hands in both of his.

"What happened to you Jack? Why is it that you don't stay dead?"

Jack shuddered in a breath. "I don't know. We were fighting the Daleks on a space station and I was trying to hold them off so that the Doctor could do his thing and save the Earth. I died.... I died and then that was the first time I woke up afterwards. I don't know what happened other than the fact that the Doctor and Rose abandoned me there. Eventually I found myself on Earth in the 19th century so I knew I had to wait, bide my time and find an answer. I'm still waiting."

"Then Torchwood is no coincidence, you figure he'll come here because of the Rift."

Jack's eyes met his. "How could you possibly know that?"

Ianto shrugged, mildly discomforted under such a penetrating look. "The Doctor travels through time.... The Rift is like a gateway through space and time as I understand it, surely this is the obvious place for him to come. He will come Jack and then you'll get your answers."

"I'll also leave."

Ianto looked away from him and bit at his lower lip. "I know, you've told me before." He released Jack's hand and stood up. "I should go. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a long day."

Jack grabbed at his hand and squeezed it tightly. "You said you'd stay." His tone was slightly desperate.

Ianto looked down at him and smiled. "You don't need me here Jack."

Jack tugged on his hand pulling Ianto's arm so that he was forced to perch back on the edge of the desk. Jack stood up between Ianto's knees and enfolded him into a fierce hug, carding fingers through soft hair and breathing in the coffee scented skin. Ianto slid his arms around Jack's waist and closed his eyes when he felt soft kisses against his neck. He lifted his chin giving Jack better access and felt warm hands slide under his jacket, tugging at fabric and loosening buttons.

"Need you, Ianto."

Ianto eased himself back so he could look into Jack's face, there was no way to avoid this, but it wasn't what he wanted.

"Jack I can't.... I just can't, knowing that you're going to go."

Jack traced his fingertips over Ianto's cheeks, his jaw, down his throat. "I'm not going anywhere yet." He whispered before capturing Ianto's lips in a painful, deep kiss. Ianto's hands went straight to the back of Jack's head holding him there as Jack pulled at his clothes to get them off.

The phone on Jack's desk rang. It kept ringing and Jack simply swept it aside and pushed Ianto back to lie on top of the paperwork. The phone and a stack of folders crashed to the floor as the two paused in their kissing to rid themselves of coat, jacket and shirts in hasty movements, desperate for bare skin. Hands moulding their bodies together. Jack was working at Ianto's belt when the Rift alarm bleared into life. Jack veritably growled with frustration as he pulled back from Ianto.

"Shit."

Then his and Ianto's mobiles both started ringing at the same time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As soon as it became clear that Jack had run away of his own volition Ianto went straight up to Jack's office and retrieved his black woollen coat from the stand. He tugged it on and slowly did up the buttons. He took one last glance around Jack's space, breathed the last traces of the man he had come to so desperately love and then he turned and walked away, striding through the Hub and out through the roller doors without uttering a word to his stunned colleagues. As soon as the door closed at Ianto's back Owen threw up his arms in anger.

"What the fuck do we do now?"

Gwen sank into her chair unable to take in the fact that Jack had deserted them, but then they had betrayed him and she had led the betrayal. Of course he'd run out on them. Who could blame him?

Tosh was the first of them to collect her wits.

"I'll go fetch Ianto and bring him back, then we get back to work. We've still got an institute to run." She gathered up her shoulder bag and jacket.

Owen was nodding. "Yeah, she's right. She's right."

Gwen looked up at them both and smiled. "We can do this, can't we?"

Again Owen nodded. "Yeah, we can. Of course we can. Come on we can all go get Tea Boy first though and then we are going to the pub to get pissed."

_**FINIS.......**_


End file.
